Sick jokes may not be everyone's cup of tea because some can really be effed up and twisted. You just feel horrible for laughing, but we won't hold it against you if they're hilarious! Try not to laugh at these sick jokes if you can!✍️ February 10, 2022
- 🤒 What is a Sick Joke?
- 🤢 Funny Sick Jokes
- 🥴 Sick Dad Jokes
- 😬 Sick Jokes One Liners
- 😷 Bonus: Jokes About Being Sick
What is a Sick Joke?
Sick jokes are a special kind of joke not everyone will enjoy. These jokes aren’t the in-your-face type of jokes since they can be as dry as a desert or as dark as fumes. However, while these jokes may be hard to swallow for some, others will find them hilarious!
If you find yourself cringing at some of these jokes, then maybe they’re not for you. But if you’re trying to control a giggle or feeling bad for laughing at these, then you’re in the right place. These sick jokes are definitely for you!
Funny Sick Jokes
You may not want to laugh at sick jokes, but funny sick jokes will get that laugh from you and can even make you feel guilty! Always remember, though, these are just jokes, so don’t get offended! Life is meant to be enjoyed!
1. What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate? A liar.
I have bad news for you; most teenage kids are liars!
2. I hear my sister screaming and moaning in her bedroom because she’s sick. I’m glad her boyfriend is there to take care of her.
It’s not a sick joke unless it’s borderline uncomfortable aka a dirty joke.
3. A woman is like a swimming pool. They cost a lot of money to maintain, but you only spend a little time inside.
To the person who said this: I know dead people when I see one.
4. Cannibal Husband: I don’t like your Mother. Cannibal Wife: Then try the potatoes.
Even cannibals need love too.
5. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They both act as meat substitutes.
They both taste bland unless you dress them up!
6. I am so sick of the Chinese-made virus destroying society–it’s called Tik-Tok!
A Chinese virus destroying society? This has to be on the news!
7. I rubbed one out over someone visually impaired yesterday. They never even saw me coming.
It’s not a sick joke unless it’s about blind people!
8. I wrote a book called “My permanently exposed penis”. It’s out now.
The moment it gets caught on something, you get a cheap circumcision!
9. My wife says my life revolves around football, so she left me. I’m upset about it since we were together for 7 seasons.
I’m surprised she didn’t make you book a hotel room sooner!
10. How did Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
We got all the filthy humor you crave for!
📖 Suggested read: 60+ Bad Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They're Good
👉Here are 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from!
Sick Dad Jokes
Dad jokes: You either love them or hate them. The same thing goes for sick jokes. You either enjoy them or not.
Sick dad jokes will make you groan and roll your eyes because of how corny they can be, or they’ll make you laugh and feel terrible at the same time! Check out these jokes and see which ones are so bad, they’re good!
1. I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping so much it made me dizzy and gave me a headache.
These are some dark humor jokes!
2. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
Ants are just born resilient that way.
3. I am getting sick and tired of gravity… It’s always bringing me down!
If only gravity would just go away and let us float to space!
4. Why do cops hate sick birds? Because they’re ill eagles.
These dad jokes will always be part of my humor.
5. People say they’re sick and tired of my Linkin Park references… But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Like what Michael Jackson said, you should have told them to just beat it!
6. My parents told me they were sick and tired of all my electronics puns. Now I’m grounded.
They just don’t know a grounded comedian when they see one!
7. Why do bad farmers make good DJs? Because they’ve got sick beets!
I would never go on a hunger strike if I had DJ farmer beets to eat!
8. Who was the first Karen to get sick? Impatient Zero.
Was her blood type K?
9. How did the bucket’s mom know he was sick? He was a little pail.
Quick take him to Home Depot Hospital!
10. I’m getting sick and tired of your obsession with walkie-talkies. This relationship is over! This relationship is what? Over.
Someone needs to tell him his relationship is. Over.
👉Check out our list of the best dad jokes, because who doesn’t love silly dad jokes!
Sick Jokes One Liners
If you’re looking for jokes that are straight to the point, one-liners are for you. These sick jokes are straight to the gut, and you’ll find the punchline as soon as you hear it. Remember, these jokes are on the darker side, but a little fun always goes a long way! Sometimes it’s okay not always to take things so seriously!
1. What does the Malaysian shark eat? Airline food.
Am I the only one who likes Airline food?
2. I’m so sick of cocaine dealers always sticking their business in other people’s noses.
It’s part of the job description.
3. I got my girlfriend a “get better soon” card. She isn’t sick, but she can do better.
Soon she’ll get sick of you and sleep in a hotel bed somewhere else!
4. Where do horses go when they break a leg? To the horse-pital. Just kidding, they get shot.
Is anyone looking for some inappropriate jokes? They’re right here!
5. I’m tired of people telling me to turn off the lights to save the environment. I tried that once, and I ran over a cyclist.
Wow, these are some dark jokes. Get it? It’s dark because there’s no light.
6. My wife told me she’s sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back. I said, “Well, you are in a wheelchair.”
Never thought I would thank someone for pushing me around.
7. I hate people who don’t wear masks, they make me sick.
Of course, there’s going to be a coronavirus joke in here somewhere!
8. Why did the koala bear drop out of the tree? It was dead.
Why did the koala bear drop in the hole? It was dead.
9. I like my whisky like my ladies. 14 years of age and blended with coke.
Yes, officer, the hardened criminal is that one over there!
10. Say what you want about pedophiles… But at least they drive slowly in school zones.
Good. The better you can get his license plate!
👉 Here are 35 more tasteless jokes for you to enjoy!
Bonus: Jokes About Being Sick
If you’re worried about someone who’s feeling a bit under the weather lately, you can bring up their mood by sharing some of these jokes about being sick. They’ll appreciate you cheering them up with these sick jokes, and they might recover faster too!
If laughter is the best medicine, here are some funny jokes to make people laugh and get better quickly!
1. What did the conductor do when the cello section called in sick a week before a concert? He was forced to resort to excessive violins.
Violins is never the answer.
2. I got really sick at the airport. My doctor says it’s a terminal illness.
If it’s terminal, then you need immediate medical attention!
3. What do you do with sick chemists? If you can’t helium or curium, you barium.
Do you give them medicines through their anium?
4. I’ll never forget what my grandad told me before he kicked the bucket. “I’m sick of this bucket.”
Grandad just wants a better bucket.
5. What medicine does a snake take when it’s sick? An anti-hiss-tamine.
In time this snake will be back in full health ready to hiss a difference.
6. What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-Aid.
Lemon-aid from the lemon-kit.
7. What does someone with dark humor and someone with scoliosis have in common? They’re both sick and twisted.
It’s so twisted it needs a correction.
8. I don’t like my doctor. I always feel sick every time I see her.
Don’t worry; you’re not the only one who feels this way.
9. What does a sick billionaire say? “I feel like a million bucks”
He’s still rich anyway!
10. I hate when bacteria get into me without me knowing. It makes me sick!
I’m so sick of these bacteria making me sick!
👉 If you’re looking for less offensive ways to make people laugh, check out this list of conversation starters!