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📖  Content:

What is an “It’s So Cold” Joke?

“It’s so cold” jokes are jokes that talk about the cold weather outside. As its name implies, the setup of this joke starts with the phrase, “It’s so cold…” followed by the punchline which is usually an extraordinary or exaggerated situation that happened because it’s so darned cold!

If you can find something to laugh about even in a bitter cold season, you can find something funny in most things which is a good attitude to have!

Funny It’s So Cold Jokes

If your sense of humor is alive and kicking, you can survive freezing cold temperatures! Have you ever laughed so hard at a funny joke that it made your face all warm and tingly? Check out these funny temperature jokes that are so hilarious, your temperature will rise and you won’t feel so cold anymore.

1. It’s so cold Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.

Did he become an ice statue?

2. It’s so cold Miley Cyrus got stuck on her wrecking ball.

That must hurt!

3. It’s so cold that even my boogers are freezing together.

If I hit my nose on an electric fence, would it unfreeze?

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4. Taking a walk on an icy lake is a snow problem.

Have you tried walking around Lake Harbor Park during winter?

5. It’s so cold that chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

They might not like it when it’s time to fry the chickens though!

6. It’s so cold I farted snowflakes.

Can snowflakes smell bad?

7. It’s so cold even Elsa is bothered by it.

It must be really cold! Where’s Anna?!

8. It’s so cold even the ATM shows minus.

Did my balance decrease just like the temperature?

9. It’s so cold that we didn’t have to clean the house. We just defrosted it.

If only I could clean my house that way!

10. It’s so cold the dogs at the greyhound track have to put jumper cables on the rabbits just to get them running!

Poor rabbits! Don’t they get a winter break?

👉 Check out 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns!


Flirty It’s So Cold Jokes

Nothing’s better than spending this cold season snuggled up next to that special someone. Grab a hot cup of cocoa and just chit chat away about anything and everything!

Here we have a list of It’s so cold jokes you can use to flirt with. Make someone blush with these jokes!

1. It’s so cold that it’s almost as cold as my heart.

This lonely winter is making my false teeth chatter and my heart freeze more.

2. It’s so cold and I lost my scarf. Can I wrap you around me instead?

This pick up line is so hot, it’s 3 million scoville on the hot sauce scale.

3. It’s so cold it’s colder than that person I loved before.

Haven’t we all been there?

4. It’s so cold outside, but you’re so hot it’s making me melt.

You’re so hot I’m getting hot flashes.

5. It’s so cold that polar bear couples want to take photos in the cold weather. They want to have polar-oids!

The polar bears take the best kind of polar-oids!

6. It’s so cold that if I touch her hand, my hand will freeze.

This winter weather must be getting to her!

7. It’s so cold that I want to hiber-mate with you.

You’re joking, right?

8. Hey girl, do you live in an igloo? Because you’re looking pretty cool.

It’s like you’re defying gravity!

9. You’re so cool if I wanted to get you off my mind, I’d need ice scrapers.

Why would you want to scrape them off?

10. When it’s cold I usually warm up by the fireplace, but I think you’re hotter.

This pick up line is so smooth I’m getting goosebumps.

👉 If you are looking for more pick-up lines or just something to strike up a conversation, take a look at this list of conversation starters!


Dirty It’s So Cold Jokes

Turn up the heat and ward off the cold with some dirty “It’s so cold” jokes! One of the best ways to turn a dreary day inside the house with your partner is to bring out some dirty jokes that will make each of you blush or more!

Spice things up with these dirty “It’s so cold” jokes!

1. It’s so cold even Harvey Weinstein is keeping his hands to himself.

Good he doesn’t have his hands in strangers anymore.

2. It’s so cold I accidentally keyed a car with my nipple.

Does your car insurance cover nipple scratches?

3. It’s so cold the local flasher just described himself to me.

This way you get to practice your imaginative skills.

4. It’s so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus drive by and a dog was inside it.

That poor dog needs a sweater!

5. It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.

Like a mixed bag of nuts, we are a mix of people.

6. It’s so cold my balls became ovaries.

I didn’t know balls can become ovaries. This is all news to me!

7. It’s so cold that I want you to be over me in my bed…like a blanket!

What were you thinking?!

8. It’s so cold that I want to come over and make snow angels in bed with you.

This doesn’t sound so bad to be honest.

9. Why was the snowman so brave? Because he had big snowballs.

He’s literally made out of snowballs!

10. Where do snowmen go to donate their sperm? The snowbank.

Good to know they have a bank!

👉 Here are top 40 What’s the Difference Between Jokes to make you laugh!


It’s So Cold Jokes One-Liners

If you’re also looking for “It’s so cold” jokes one-liners then you’re in the right place. These cold weather one-liners are so straight to the point like an icicle. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter!

1. It’s so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair.

What the cold weather does to cold people!

2. It’s so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk.

I can only imagine how people in the park would react!

3. It’s so cold that pet stores are selling penguins.

I’m liking these ice cold animal jokes!

4. It’s so cold my faucet is pouring out ice cubes.

My tears are forming into ice cubes too.

5. It’s so cold polar bears started buying fur coats to keep themselves warm.

Save the polar bears!

6. It’s so cold the hitchikers are holding up pictures of thumbs.

They’re just making sure they don’t get frostbite!

7. It’s so cold the Amish man bought an electric blanket.

See? Modern technology isn’t so bad!

8. It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.

That’s the Chicago police for you!

9. It’s so cold that my mother is giving us hot sauce instead of serving coffee.

At least this way you get to warm up pretty quickly!

10. It’s so cold I’m shivering like a mobster in a tax office.

It must be terrifyingly cold!

👉 Check out our list of the best dad jokes, because who doesn’t love silly dad jokes!


Bonus: Cold Jokes

Have a hearty laugh with these jokes! There are just so many jokes you can make about the cold weather that we’ve added a bonus set of jokes in case you need more ways to make fun of the harsh cold weather.

1. Why would the Great Wooly Mammoth cross the street? Because there were no chickens during the Ice Age so they could cross.

Dinosaur jokes are perfect for the cold weather!

2. What do you call cheese fondue left out in the cold? Hard cheese!

I like all kinds of cheese, especially cheese jokes.

3. When we milked the cows we got ice cream.

Animal jokes + cold jokes = yummy!

4. It’s so cold my eyelids are frozen together.

Let’s just say ice can’t see well.

5. It was so cold that our words froze. We had to take them to the fireplace to thaw them out.

What if you steamed them in a pressure cooker?

6. Why is a six-pack of ice cold beer better than a woman? Beer doesn’t nag and asks silly questions.

Does beer taste better too?

7. It’s so cold even my boogers are going to freeze together.

Always stick to each other when the temperature gets low!

8. What would you call a dollar that’s frozen because it is so cold outside? Call it cold, hard cash.

I hope the stores accept cold frozen money!

9. What would the opposite of a cold front be? The opposite is a warm back.

I’ll take that warm back on the side of the beach please.

10. It’s so cold I saw a politician put his hands in his own pockets.

I guess it’s too cold for them to try anything funny!

👉 In need of more jokes? Follow this link for 35 Tasteless Jokes!

Conversation Starters

Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere!