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Falling in love might be easy. Staying in love is tough but the end goal is to maintain a healthy relationship that is good for you and will make you feel secure, content, and happy!

It might be too easy to say that you would like to have a healthy relationship with someone you like but it takes a lot of hard work to build a relationship bound by loyalty, trust, happiness, and love. It doesn’t happen overnight and you’ll both need to work on it to make it last.

What is a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is one wherein both parties are interdependent. You rely on each other for mutual support but can positively maintain each of your identities as unique individuals. The relationship has balance and consistency.

In a healthy relationship, you love each other, but your sense of value and self-esteem does not depend on the other person.

Signs of a healthy relationship

How do you truly know that your relationship is healthy? Here is a list of the signs you’ll have to look for in a relationship to know that the relationship you’re in is truly healthy or just toxic:

1. Respect

Even though you are a couple in a relationship, understand that you are different persons with different beliefs, opinions, and values. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to express yourself and at the same time also respect and support your partner’s individuality.

2. Communication

You’ll know that you are in a healthy relationship when you can talk to your partner about everything under the sun.

When you feel bad or in times of hardship, you find solace and outlet in your partner by talking to him or her about your problems. When you are happy, you celebrate it together by reminiscing the moments and talking about how you feel.

3. Compassion

One of the beauties of a healthy relationship is that you are kinds, caring, supporting, and loving to your partner. You make him or her feel secure, content, and important.

They say a home is not a place but rather a person who makes you feel loved and safe. In a healthy relationship, your partner is your home.

4. Honesty

Even in relationships, honesty is still the best policy. You should always feel free, to tell the truth, no matter how ugly it is. You should tell to your partner and know that they will understand your choices, friends, and all.

There shouldn’t be any fear of resentment despite your differences. As long as you stay true to your partner and her/he to you.

5. Loyalty

Being in a relationship does not mean that you should be physically together 247. If your relationship is healthy, you would feel secure that your partner would stay faithful to you despite the time and distance spent apart.

Another manifestation of loyalty is when you are always able to defend your partner even in his or her absence from other people.

6. Trust

In a healthy relationship, you believe in your partner’s word more than you believe in others. Some people might try to ruin what you have but if your faith in your relationship, you’ll know in your heart that your partner won’t do anything to risk it. Don’t doubt your partner. Believe in each other.

7. Taking Responsibility

When either or both of you make mistakes, you’ll freely and sincerely own up to them. Blaming games should not exist in healthy relationships. Also, if you already talked and sorted things out, you won’t bring it up every time you’re upset. You genuinely forgive and forget past mistakes.

8. Independence

Interdependence does not mean that a partner depends on the other and should always ask permission from each other. You each have a life to live on your own. You have your own jobs, your own circle of friends, and your own hobbies independent of your relationship. Make time for yourself.

9. Equality

You each have a right to a healthy relationship. It should always be balanced. No one person should take hold of the reins. You both work hand in hand to make the relationship work. You are partners and equals who genuinely love each other and choose each other each day.

10. Comfortable Pace

In building a healthy relationship and moving to the next level, you’ll know when it’s the right time when you both feel excited and great about it. There shouldn’t be any mixed feelings and doubts. You should not have to second guess it. When it’s time for something to happen, you’ll know it!

Building a healthy relationship

As mentioned before, building a good relationship does not happen overnight, it takes years and years of hard work, patience, and compromise. Here is a list of the best tips you should follow to build a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

1. Spend quality time together

Amidst all the pressures and demands of life, make some effort to spend time with each other. Online time doesn’t count. Do it face to face. Go on a date at least once or twice a week. Celebrate your little wins in life together.

2. Stay connected no matter what

The good morning and good night messages you send each other when you apart really do have a good impact on both of you. Your efforts to communicate with one another make your relationship stronger.

3. Keep physical intimacy alive

Humans as we are, we all crave touch, kisses, hugs, sex, and all those other physical love languages we use to make our partners feel how much we care for them. It’s as important as the endearing words and thoughts we have for our partner.

4. Give and take

In a healthy and balanced relationship, both partners are equals. You should be able to do your part in the relationship. Show up, make some effort, support your partner. At the same time, also accept what your partner offers you, their love, their time, all that they are in exchange for all of you.

5. Be prepared for ups and downs

Being in a relationship is not a bed of roses. You’ll be able to test how strong your relationship is when the going gets tough. Prepare to stand by your partner no matter what. Be there for each other. Together, you’ll be able to weather through any storm that comes your way.

How to fix a broken relationship

Somewhere and somehow relationships are tested. If both of you believe that your relationship is worth saving and you’re both willing to work for it, here is a list of the things you need to do to fix your broken relationship.

1. Accept your partner’s flaws

Nobody in this entire world is perfect, not your partner and certainly not you! If you love someone, you’ll be willing to accept your partner’s imperfection as you accept your own. Love all their scars.

2. Genuine displays of affection

Some couples tend to hold out any displays of affection at the expense of not letting their partner feel any sort of lovey-dovey feeling that could really make all the difference to mend their broken relationship. It won’t hurt to be a little sweet, darling.

3. Always have that childlike wonder

Remember the first time you met and the first stages of your relationship? Go back to the honeymoon stage and remind yourselves about how it felt like, why you wanted to date each other in the first place, and what keeps you holding on.

4. Respect boundaries

It all boils down to how much you trust each other. When you give your partner the trust they rightfully deserve, your partner will also try their best to live up to it. He or she will be loyal to you even when you’re apart. Respect is all you need.

5. Stop arguing about money

Money can really mess things up in a relationship if you focus all your energy on it. There’s much more to a relationship that you could share than just finance. It’s not the most important thing. Talk about it and be mature about budgeting it but never let it be the reason for your arguments.

6. Don’t isolate yourself

Relationships are all about two people, you and your partner. For it to truly work, you need to be open to one another. Express yourself and let your partner understand you. This way, you’ll be much more closer to one another.

7. Satisfy your sexual needs

Maybe your relationship just needs a little bit of reboot in the sex department. Let your partner know your limits but also be willing to explore. You might not know what could give you pleasure until you try it!

8. Forgive each other

If you truly love someone, you will be willing to accept their mistakes and errors even though it hurts. Everyone deserves a second chance. You deserve a second chance if you really want it and if you’re willing to genuinely and sincerely work for it.

How often do couples fight in a healthy relationship?

Part of every healthy relationship is your disagreements. Couples fight and argue all the time. It’s okay to fight for your relationship to develop and not all your fights even need to be resolved.

According to experts, 67% of fights are petty ones that just need a little bit of coaxing and snuggling. Couples in a healthy relationship know which 33% are worth fighting for and talking about.

As long as you know that your love is bigger than what you’re fighting about, you’ll know everything is going to be sorted out at the end of the day.

Bonus: Taking a break in relationship

Some relationships need a break before both of you decide to take it to the next level. It’s only normal for you to want to be sure about it. This way, you’ll be able to grow on your own for a bit.

During this time, get to know yourself more. You are a person, an individual, aside from being someone’s partner. Learn some hobbies and do things you don’t usually have time for.

Visit your family and friends! Now that you have so much free time in your hand, go see the other humans who also miss you.

Allow yourself to feel lonely. Being independent of anyone will teach you so much about life. You won’t get to feel alone when you’re in a relationship. If you’re taking a break, embrace the moments when you’re single. Feel alive in your solitude.

You think you’re ready to be in a healthy relationship? Don’t overthink it, it’ll come naturally to you. Don’t go rushing towards it. Let life and love surprise you and just be yourself! After all, being in a relationship is all about you… with another person who will make your life so much more wonderful than it already is.

✍️  March 29, 2021

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