Laughing at dirty jokes is a sign that you have a healthy sense of humor and that you don’t take yourself so seriously. Life can get pretty dull if you always play it straight. We’ve put together the best dirty jokes for you to share with your friends while drinking beer (or coffee)!✍️ March 9, 2022
What Are Dirty Jokes?
A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive.
People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they’re funny as hell! Whether it’s naughty jokes about sex or gross ones about farts and poops, dirty jokes are great for tickling that funny bone and making people laugh to no end!
Funny Dirty Jokes
If you’re feeling brave and want to tell jokes that will get people’s attention, telling funny dirty jokes is the best way to go.
Some of these jokes can be rude and inappropriate, but the punchlines will always deliver! Just remember, a lot can be forgiven when a dirty joke is funny, but you should still not cross the line! You wouldn’t want to really offend someone!
Share these funny dirty jokes that are so raunchy people need to wash their ears when they hear them!
1. How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
It’s very sensitive!
2. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? “Beat it. We’re closed!”
Guess customers will have to go the DIY way.
3. What’s a lesbian’s love language? Speaking in tongues.
Hahaha They’re better at it than guys.
4. A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
Hope this means the naked man was near the organ that’s used to play Sunday hymns.
5. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. She said she didn’t have time.
If it was so fast that she couldn’t even blink, can you say it really happened?
6. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball!
This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy!
👉 Suggested read: 50 It's So Cold Jokes To Make You Laugh
7. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. He says they always cum in handy.
That sounds like a sticky situation!
8. If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
They had a happy new year…if you know what I mean!
9. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won’t stop to ask directions.
That’s what you call stubborn!
10. What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
It’s all about satisfying the right need!
👉 Suggested read: 🍷 60 Funny Wine Puns To Make You Laugh
11. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
That’s pretty disgusting too.
12. What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
I’ll never look at beef stroganoff the same again!
13. Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
That’s so aggressive! Let’s have a good time!
14. What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The head nurse.
Must be because she likes giving head? Too much? Nah!
15. Let’s play carpenter! First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.
Careful! This sounds a lot like a date rape.
👉 Jokes are always good as ice breakers. Here are some conversation starter tips that will help you break the ice in any situation
Dirty Dad Jokes
Dirty dad jokes are not like the jokes you heard from your dad when you were a kid. Although these jokes may be just as cheesy, what’s different is that the punchlines have become a lot more raunchy!
Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy!
1. Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time.
That’s a huge miscommunication!
2. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are you have small boobs.
And I thought it’s because I have beautiful eyes!
3. What does a booger tell its true love? I’m stuck on you.
That’s so sweet…not!
4. Who are the most dangerous farters in the world? Ninjas. They’re silent but deadly.
Have you ever been a victim of a silent fart? It comes out of nowhere!
5. How does a wiener go camping? In a Wiener-bago.
Let’s go on a road trip and eat lots of hotdogs by a campfire!
6. Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.
That’s some wood!
7. Did you fart? No, that was my butt blowing you a kiss.
I love you!
8. If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
That makes sense!
9. Why was the banana sad after its race? It lost to the eventual wiener.
It’s ok if you’re not the winner as long as you did your best.
10. What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don’t eat broccoli.
I don’t think boogers are that delicious.
11. What’s long and hard and full of semen? A submarine.
There are lots of seamen in a submarine.
12. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? To look for Pooh!
I hope he finds Winnie the Pooh and not poop!
13. If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.
Thanks! I think you’d be Handsomelicious!
14. My dad always used to say: “If your sex doll starts leaking, it’s not sick, it’s full.”
Ewwwwww!!! Nuff said.
15. Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter? Pretty Nuts!
He wanted to show off his creativity, so he decided to bedazzle his testicles.
👉 Looking for more dad jokes? Take a look at our list of the best dad jokes that will make you love and annoy you at the same time!
Dirty Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock jokes are always a crowd favorite. If you want to spice up your knock knock jokes, why not make them a little dirtier? Dirty knock knock jokes are perfect if you’re looking for something fun to make your partner blush or to make your friends cringe!
Let your naughty side out with these dirty knock knock jokes!
1. Knock knock! Who’s there? Kenya! Kenya who? Kenya kiss me, please?
Is a kiss on the cheek fine?
2. Knock knock! Who’s there? Anita! Anita who? Anita Dick inside me!
Are you usually this honest when you’re turned on?
3. Knock knock! Who’s there? Hop on. Hop on who? Hop on this dick.
No, thank you!
4. Knock knock! Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little love right now.
I need some love and TLC!
5. Knock knock! Who’s there? Alpha. Alpha Who? Alpha Cure Mom.
Not if I have sex with your mom first!
6. Knock knock! Who’s there? Cam. Cam who? Camel toe… do you have any pants I can borrow?
A camel toe is so embarrassing!
7. Knock knock! Who’s there? Khan! Khan who? The khan-dom broke!
Oh no! Hope you’re on the pill!
8. Knock knock! Who’s there? A yam. A yam who? A yam so wet for you right now.
Let’s get it on!
9. Knock knock! Who’s there? Radio! Radio who? Radio not, here I come!
And that’s what a woman doesn’t want to hear while having sex.
10. Knock knock! Who’s there? Meat. Meat who? Meat my dick!
That’s so romantic! You know I’m being sarcastic, right?
11. Knock knock! Who’s there? Tara. Tara who? Tara McClosoff.
I want you to tear off my clothes now!
12. Knock knock! Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie chance you’re available for a booty call?
Sorry, I’m busy!
13. Knock knock! Who’s there? Boo? Boo who? Stop crying, you pussy. It’s just a joke.
You’re supposed to laugh at jokes!
14. Knock knock! Who’s there? Closure. Closure who? Closure mouth when eating, it’s disgusting.
Eating with your mouth open is such an eyesore. It can even be a turn off when you’re dating.
15. Knock knock! Who’s there? Dozer. Dozer who? Dozer the biggest breasts I’ve ever seen.
Look at my face, buddy!
👉 If you want to move on from dirty jokes but want to keep the laughs coming, we have more jokes and puns for you! Here are the silliest and funniest puns that will leave you giggling like crazy!