Christmas Jokes
Tis the season to be jolly! Spread joy and laughter to your family and friends with corny Christmas jokes, hilarious puns, and even riddles that will entertain adults, kids, friends, and relatives at any gathering!
✍️ November 30, 2021
Spread joy and laughter during this holiday season! If a joke can be defined as something that people say to cause amusement or laughter, then a Christmas joke is saying something about Christmas that would make people laugh! Christmas is especially a great theme for jokes because it’s a well-loved holiday among adults and kids!
Funny Christmas jokes are all about spreading some holiday laughs through funny one-liners, puns, knock-knock jokes, or whatever punchline about Christmas that people can come up with!
Take a look at this list of funny Christmas jokes that will have people giggling ’til the end of the year, or maybe even until next year!
👉 If you want to make your Christmas gathering more lively and exciting, try out these other conversation starter ideas!
Funny Christmas Jokes
Make your family and friends crack up with funny Christmas jokes featuring Santa, his elves, reindeer, and all Christmas things! Take a look at these Christmas jokes while enjoying a glass of milk and cookies!
1. Why is the store giving away free batteries during Christmas? Because they’re free of charge!
Free is free, right?
2. Where do Elves go so they can cast their vote? They go to the North Poll.
I’m glad to hear they’re exercising their right to vote!
3. Who delivers Christmas gifts to cats? Santa Paws.
It’s great that Santa gives presents to cats too!
4. The scarecrow got a big Christmas bonus this year. He was quite outstanding in his field.
Literally standing in the middle of the field got him the best employee of the year award!
5. Why did Rudolph get a bad grade in History? Because he went down in it.
Rudolph the obnoxious reindeer. You’ll go down in history!
6. Why does Santa Claus choose to go down the chimney to deliver Christmas presents? Because that method soots him the most.
Santa has his preferences! Don’t forget to put out his favorite candy!
7. What do you call chess masters bragging about their games in the lobby of a hotel? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Jack frost nipping at your nose.
8. What do you call Santa when he farts? Farter Christmas!
Put this on a holiday card!
9. Did you hear about the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.
As he should! Sounds like our least favorite type of human being.
10. How did the snow globe feel about this year? A little shaken, but still okay.
That’s how I felt about this year too.
11. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Whatever you want. He can’t hear you.
I wanna call him the Muffler.
12. What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol? Soy to the World!
Soy gives me joy!
13. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? And how much did he pay for snow parking? Nothing. It was on the house!
I bet he never gets a parking ticket!
14. How do Christmas angels greet one another? “Halo there!”
Why hello to you too, dear. Please don’t give me the cold shoulder!
15. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Shiny things may be pretty to look at, but if you eat them, you’re gonna get sick!
👉 Are you looking for Christmas Jokes for Kids? Follow the link!
Dirty Christmas Jokes for Adults
Christmas jokes for adults can get a little bit dirty especially if they’re asked if they’ve been naughty or nice! Depending on the joke, they might just reveal how naughty they’ve been!
Good thing we’ve collected some of the dirtiest Christmas jokes that are perfect for naughty adults! Make sure you’re not drinking when you take a look at these dirty Christmas jokes for adults because you might end up spitting them out!
You’ll forget it’s cold outside with these sizzling hot and dirty Christmas jokes! Enjoy these holiday jokes!
1. Why did the snowman want a divorce? Because his wife kept flaking on him.
I would say the snowman dodged a bullet right there.
2. Why does Mrs. Claus like the Yeti so much? Because he’s an Abdominal Snowman!
Probably has 8-pack washboard abs too!
3. If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas. Will you let me visit between the holidays?
Well, if you put it that way… Sounds like a competitive season!
4. Why does Santa always land on your roof? Because he likes it on top.
Santa is the type of man who knows what he wants.
5. Why does Mrs. Claus like White Christmas so much? Because Santa Claus only comes once a year.
Mrs. Claus must be a very loyal woman.
6. Why was Santa disappointed when he received a sweater for Christmas? Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner!
But Christmas sweaters are a tradition! Hold up. I think we’re talking about different sweaters!
7. Is your name Jingle Bells? Cause you look ready to go all the way.
That’s one way of making a wholesome Christmas carol R-rated!
8. Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own? He only comes once a year.
Easy birth control! That will be a hit at your holiday party!
9. Why does Santa Claus always come through the chimney? Because he knows he can’t enter through the back door.
No wrong holes here!
10. How are train sets and breasts similar? They were both made for kids but you can’t help playing with them.
Uh oh, that sounds like bad manners!
11. Why do elves laugh when they run? Because the snow tickles their balls.
The snow is pretty deep in the North Pole!
12. How does Santa practice safe sex? He wraps his package first before shoving it down the chimney place.
Always wrap your gifts for the ultimate surprise! No glove, no love!
13. What do snowmen use to make snow babies? Snowballs.
Improved recommendations for this joke!
14. Why are Christmas trees better than most men? Even the small ones give satisfaction.
There is a 100 percent chance that Christmas trees are enthusiastic about the season.
15. Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!
Oh, Santa! That’s very naughty of you too!
👉 Are you in the mood of a Dad Joke? Here you can find our top 80!
Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock! Who’s there? I’m gonna knock these Christmas jokes out of the park! It’s our favorite holiday!
Whether you’re the one telling the joke or the one on the receiving end, a well-delivered Christmas knock-knock joke will have everyone reeling from laughter.
Have a dose of the ho ho ho season with these ho-larious Christmas knock-knock jokes!
1. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska Santa for a new bike!
What do you want from Santa this Christmas?
2. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas!
Hello, the Christmas season is here!
3. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Centipede. Centipede who? Centipede on the Christmas tree.
This is crawling with Christmas fun.
4. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Census. Census who? Census some presents this Christmas!
The little girl in me is screaming!
5. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Kanye. Kanye who? Kanye help me bake Christmas cookies?
Of course, I volunteer to do the taste test too!
6. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Believe. Believe who? Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Santa Claus is 100% real. Fight me.
7. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery Merry Christmas to you!
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas too!
8. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elf I knock again will you let me in?
Depends if you brought me excellent presents this year!
9. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ginger. Ginger who? The GingerBread Man!
Some people like Billy Joel, the Piano Man. I like the GingerBread Man!
10. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open this gift until Christmas.
Do not spoil the surprise. It’s better to open gifts on Christmas morning!
11. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa on his sleigh.
I’ll call you the second I hear bells ringing! I’ll make sure you don’t get coal on your Christmas sock too!
12. Who’s there? Harold. Harold who? Hark the Harold Angels Sing!
Harold must sing like an angel.
13. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap these Christmas presents.
Sure, as long as one of them is for me.
14. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho-ho. Ho-ho who? Ho-ho-ho are you this Christmas season?
Thanks for asking! I’m splendid!
15. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? Get to sleep so that Santa can come and deliver your gift!
That’s an effective way to make kids go to bed asap!
👉 Here you can find amazing, fun, and challenging Riddles for Kids!
