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What Are the Best Insults of All Time?

There are times when you just need to throw an insult. Maybe you’re showing a twisted sense of affection to your friends or you’re really angry and want to hurt someone with your words.

Whatever your reason is, here are the best insults of all time to get you started!

1. I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

Here’s how you can respond. Please do tell me more about your amazing life. Not!

2. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Tell this to douchebags who keep pestering you even when you tell them no.

3. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had the authority to judge me. Who are you? God?

Do you really live your entire life so high and mighty that you think you can judge people’s lives?

4. If common sense is common, why are you without it?

Here’s a comeback for you. Common sense is relative! What’s common for you may not be common for others.

5. I’m sorry if you don’t like my honesty, but to be fair, I don’t like your lies.

You should know that believing in “Honesty is the best policy” can hurt sometimes.

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6. It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Or you can just say you’re projecting a mysterious image!

7. Sorry, not sorry!

This is such a modern classic!

8. I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash.

Burn!!!!

9. You’re such a hick. You must be from South Carolina.

What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t believe the stereotype!

10. “You wanna do good things? Be a fucking nurse.” - Logan Roy, Succession

Brian Cox’s Logan Roy character always delivers the best insults.

11. “Get a grip, get a life, and get over it.” - Alyssa Edwards, RuPaul’s Drag Race

I feel this. At this point, can anyone really say this is an insult?

12. “It looks like she went into Claire’s boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said ‘I’ll take it!’” - Bianca Del Rio, a contestant from the TV show RuPaul’s Drag Race says to fellow contestant Joslyn, Fox.

There’s a reason why American people love watching RuPaul’s Drag Race. They’re just so fierce!

13. You should really come with a warning label.

Tell this to toxic people in your life!

14. Have a nice day…somewhere else!

If only people we don’t want around us will disappear.

15. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.

Please stop yourself from giving advice no one wants or needs.

👉 Suggested read: 35+ Dark Humor Jokes To Make You Laugh

👉 Looking for more ways to insult people? Take a look at more funny insults!


Good Insults

If you like to throw good insults now and then to your closest friends as a way to start conversations, make sure to get a chuckle out of them. Otherwise, they might tell mean jokes about you too! Just remember to keep things light and casual so that no one’s feelings get hurt.

1. No one noticed when you left; that’s how insignificant you are.

This has gotta hurt!

2. You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball.

If someone tells you this, get back at them with, “Wow, you’re such a clever person!” They’ll have to figure out if you’re being sarcastic or not.

3. So much for allowing the stream of knowledge to rain down on you.

You still weren’t able to soak up any knowledge at all.

4. Silence is the best answer for a fool.

That’s why I don’t talk to a lot of people.

5. I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes.

This statement cuts with alarming accuracy!

6. Can we normalize telling you that you aren’t so wonderful?

What makes you think you’re any better?

7. Talking to you is like stepping on a leaf in autumn and hearing no crunch. So disappointing.

Are you telling me I’m boring to talk to?

8. I envy everyone you have never met.

Give me time! I’ll meet more people.

9. You’re so hairy that when you went to the zoo, they locked you in the gorilla cage.

Tell them it’s not that bad!

10. The salt on this food is enough to kill an earthworm.

In case you don’t get it, you’re a terrible cook.

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11. Your eyebrows look like eagle’s wings.

Look in the mirror, Frida Kahlo.

12. You need lemons to make lemonade, and you don’t have any lemons.

Awww…honey.

13. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!

Oh, to be at the same level as a monster!

14. The people who tolerate you daily are the real heroes.

Not all heroes wear capes!

15. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.

Can you please learn from the stupid things you do?


Best Insults Names

There are many kinds of name insults. There are creative insult names like “bootlicker”. You can also go with fun alliterations like “Debbie Downer”. Or regular names of people can be used as insults too in the right situation. Who hasn’t heard of the infamous “Karen”?!

The best insults names will either get a chuckle from people or arise from them! Make sure to make them laugh and not make people angry!

Suggested read: Funny Questions to Ask

Here’s our list of the best insults names you can try!

1. Chatty Cathy

Don’t tell any secret to Chatty Cathy there if you don’t want it to spread like wildfire!

2. Fatso

Calling someone a fatso is why people have body issues.

3. Bozo

Stop fooling around. You’re such a bozo!

4. Debbie Downer

You’re draining my energy, Debbie Downer!

5. Wanker

No one likes a wanker!

6. Negative Nancy

Can’t you see the bright side for once, Negative Nancy?

7. Airhead

You’re just a pretty airhead!

8. Shithead

I don’t have time for a shithead like you!

9. Mary Sue

Are you for real? Why are you so perfect like a robot? You’re such a Mary Sue!

10. Wimp

If you can’t take the heat, just leave. I don’t need a wimp in my life.

11. Smart Aleck

A smart-aleck doesn’t know everything. For one thing, they don’t know when it’s time to shut up!

12. Old Bat

That old bat is going to outlive us all!

13. Boomer

When you don’t want to bother arguing with someone who’s way older than you. Just tell them, “Ok boomer”.

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14. Felicia

Bye Felicia! Don’t let the door hit you on your way out!

15. Milksop

If you’re a little old-fashioned, you can call cowardly men milksops because it’s like they’re still drinking their mother’s milk!


Great Hilarious Insults

We have more mean insults that will burn your frenemies! Read at your own risk because some of these hilarious insults can hurt and make you laugh at the same time!

1. I’m not a nerd. I’m just smarter than you.

Being called a nerd is not really an insult. Watch out people you call nerds might just become your boss one day.

2. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.

You really are a terrible person, and I pity your parents.

3. Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.

That’s why don’t judge a book by its cover really applies to people.

4. don’t think you are stupid. You just have bad luck when thinking.

This! Maybe you should study more?

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5. Are you almost done with all of this drama? Because I need an intermission.

I need a break. Indefinitely.

6. Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me.

Not listening to you is how I do my self-care.

7. If I were a dog and you were a flower I’d lift my leg up and give you a shower.

Just go away!

8. When it was raining brains, you had an umbrella.

So, that’s why you aren’t clever at all.

9. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything!

You don’t know everything!

10. Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.

Two can play this game!

11. I’ve been called worse things by better men.

That means you’re a lesser man and your words don’t even matter.

12. He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts - for support rather than illumination.

In other words, he’s just spouting off useless drivel.

13. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

If all you can do is roll your eyes, go ahead.

14. I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.

I’ve made it number 1 on my to-do list.

15. You’re so fake. Barbie is jealous.

Your life is fake too!

👉 Telling insults is one way to capture people’s attention and get a laugh from them, but there are other ways to break the ice and make people feel at ease. Learn more about other conversation starters!

Conversation Starters

Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere!