Best Dad Jokes
When dads tell jokes, they want to make their kids laugh but they may not hit the mark all the time. Dad jokes are jokes that deserve an A for effort especially if the punchlines are delivered well. They may be corny, cheesy, or even bad, but they'll always get a reaction!
✍️ May 30, 2022
What is a Dad Joke?
When it comes to jokes, a dad joke is on a whole league of its own. In a nutshell, these jokes tend to be corny jokes that dads would make. Great dad jokes are wholesome with obvious or predictable punchlines.
They can be cheesy or so not funny at all that you’ll see people grimace, chuckle or laugh because they’re so bad! If you find dad jokes funny and love telling them to your family and friends to see their reactions, here’s our list of the best dad jokes ever to “torture” or entertain them with!
Funny Dad Jokes
Although dad jokes are known to be corny or cheesy, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be funny. One great thing about dad jokes is that they can be a mix of bad and good jokes.
Although many dad jokes can make people groan and roll their eyes, there are funny dad jokes that will crack people up whether they like it or not! If you’re at a party and want to break the ice, telling dad jokes is an easy way to make people feel at ease and start a conversation!
Check out these funny dad jokes to break the ice!
1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
It will be dangerous if they crack each other up.
2. Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels overhead!
It was a heady feeling!
3. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!
I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll miss all the pasta he made.
4. Do mascara and lipstick ever argue? Sure, but then they make up.
It’s always good for ladies to have mascara and lipstick when going on a night out!
5. How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
The coolest celebrities have a lot of fans!
6. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!
I wish this was not a joke!
7. My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They’re his watch dogs!
They’re very expensive watch dogs!
8. Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”
I don’t think you should be happy.
9. Today I’m attaching a light to the ceiling, but I’m afraid I’ll probably screw it up.
Of course, you need to screw a light bulb.
10. What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
Gummy bears are the best!
11. What does a house wear? Address.
If people can be judged based on how they dress. Having a good address can also impress people.
12. What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay? A deviled egg.
Don’t worry! It’s not evil! Some people even find its taste to be heavenly!
13. What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!
Sneakers are the perfect footwear for sneaking in!
14. What’s Forrest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1.
Run, Forrest! Run! That’s easy to remember.
👉 Suggested read: 60+ Bad Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They're Good
15. Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
They should get married in a church instead.
16. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
Honey is quite good for the hair too.
17. Why do dogs float in water? Because they are good buoys.
Dogs love swimming! Who’s a good boy?!
18. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with!
Trick or Treat is a lonely activity for skeletons.
19. Why is that cemetery so popular? People are just dying to get in there!
People need to literally die to get a spot inside a cemetery.
20. Why was the dad sitting on a pack of playing cards? His kid asked him to sit on the deck.
They’re playing cards on the deck!
👉 If you need other ideas aside from dad jokes for breaking the ice, check out our list of riddles!
Corny Dad Jokes
For those who have listened to their dad tell jokes, they know corniness always comes with the punchline. Corny dad jokes have a charm of their own that will make people grimace or giggle away! There’s a reason why people associate corny with dad jokes, and it’s not a bad thing.
Take a look at these corny dad jokes!
1. How do you get a good price on a sled? You have toboggan.
You need to bargain if you want to get a good deal!
2. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
You’ll be screaming to get soap out of your mouth!
3. Why did the cracker go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
The cracker wasn’t feeling so good.
4. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.
I don’t think that’s the right interpretation.
5. Can February march? No, but April may!
There’s a lot more to do in May!
6. Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
People who get Botox can’t raise their eyebrows for some time. You won’t know if they’re raising an eyebrow because of anything.
7. Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.
Is it really that interesting that you can’t put it down?
8. How do moths swim? Using the butterfly stroke.
It’s a beautiful sight to see!
9. What did the Alpaca say to his date? “Want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.”
I want to meet an Alpaca. I’ll pack a lunch too if it wants!
10. What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!
The bison never came back after the buffalo said goodbye.
11. What did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog? “It’s a dog eat dog world out there.”
A dog eating a hotdog. That’s how reality bites you.
12. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? So-fish-ticated.
This fish is quite elegant. It has sophisticated tastes.
13. What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
I think a reliable camera is much better.
14. What piece on the playground is always exhausted? The tire swing.
The tire swing is really popular with kids!
15.What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
That’s how they do business!
16. When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Go to the doctor quickly if you’re having urine trouble!
17. Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moovies.
You’ll hear a lot of cows “mooing” at the moovies.
18. Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
No one wants to catch a cold too!
19. Why are snails bad at racing? They’re sluggish.
Who expected snails to be fast in the first place?
20. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.
I prefer bagels though.
👉 Want to add puns to your dad jokes? Get inspiration from our collection of funny puns!
Good Dad Jokes
You need to have a keen sense of humor to find good dad jokes. After all the bad and lame dad jokes, you’ll come across hilarious dad jokes too. Here are some good dad jokes that will get you and your friends laughing in no time!
1. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
It’s not good to spread rumors.
2. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Going up the stairs tires me out every single time. That’s why I don’t trust them.
3. I often feel depressed when I don’t play video games, but I always find a way to console myself.
Xbox is great at consoling me.
4. The little boy asked his dad why there were balloons in the bathroom? The dad said because he was planning a birthday potty for him.
Now that he’s a year older, it was time for the little boy to learn how to potty!
5. Want to hear a long joke?Jooooooooooooooke.
Ok. That’s a long joke. I hate you.
6. What do you call a fish with four eyes? Fiiish!
Make sure to count how many letter “I’s are there!
7. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.
Cats are really smart!
8. How did the hipsters burn their tongues? They drank their coffee before it was cool.
Iced coffee is trendy these days!
9. Stop looking for the perfect match. Use a lighter.
Did you think I was thinking about a life partner?
10. Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.
That’s the kind of diet I like!
11. What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes.
He knows how to judge good pipes.
12. Why was the gossip disliked at the coffee shop? She always spilled the tea.
They hate messy rumors as much as they hate messy spills!
13. What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.
Poor Neil. People think he’s always on his knees.
14. What do you call a shoe made of a banana? A slipper!
Be careful! Don’t slip on a banana peel!
15. What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “Grrrraiiiinns!”
The zombies will eat your grains! Hide it now!
16. Where do horses live?In neigh-borhoods.
You’ll hear a lot of neighing going on there.
17. Why did two tall people get along so well? They could really see eye to eye.
It must be nice to be at the same wavelength and at the same height!
18. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
It’s trouble enough to play with cheaters. Just imagine how terrifying it is to play with cheetahs!
19. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands!
He must like flying a lot, and he lives in Neverland!
20. Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trum-pet.
If you think dog barks are loud, wait until you hear the sound from a trumpet!
Cheesy Dad Jokes
When it comes to the cheesy dad jokes, don’t need to think too hard. Sometimes, it can feel like you’re trying to figure out some riddle only to realize that the answer is so cheesy! Cheesy punchlines will either make you groan in protest or go into giggles like it’s the funniest since sliced bread!
🤓 Suggested read: 35+ Knock Knock Jokes That Make You Laugh
Add a bit of cheesiness and spice to your conversations with these cheesy dad jokes!
1. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
I’m ready to take a step toward a healthier lifestyle!
2. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They’re both Paris sites.
Everyone prefers the Eiffel Tower more!
3. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
Young trees go to elementree school while young kids go to elementary school. These schools are where they learn the basics!
4. Why are piggy banks so wise? They’re filled with common cents."
It’s also good that they’re filled with money!
5. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the empire state building? Of course! Buildings can’t jump.
That’s not what I meant, and you know it!
6. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!
Darth Vader is good at feeling other people’s presence.
7. How do I look? With your eyes.
That’s what they’re there for!
8. Why did the dad toss his clock out of the window? He wanted to see time fly.
It’s fun, and time flies when you’re having fun.
9. How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles
All the tickling will make the octopus laugh!
10. I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told them I really bring a lot to the table.
My waitressing experience makes me perfect for the job.
11. I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
I should have ducked when I saw it coming.
12. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
Oceans like making waves.
13. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
It’s a supplies closet after all.
14. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punchline.
It totally knocked me out.
15. What kind of music do Santa’s elves listen to while working? Wrap music!
They like trendy rap music to get in their wrapping groove.
16. What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.
The bee can’t leave! Oh no!
17. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
If you have one, replace it asap.
18. What do you call a donkey with only three legs? A wonkey.
Its walk was a little wonky because it was missing one leg.
19. I’m afraid of the calendar. Its days are numbered.
It’s always losing days.
20. What was the child who wouldn’t nap guilty of? Resisting a rest!
When they become an adult, they’ll regret not taking all the naps that they can get!
With all these great punchlines behind us, you might also be interested in getting 9 essential tips when dating a single dad. Yes, it can be a daunting task, but as long as you keep a few things in mind, you should be just fine.
👉 Want more Conversation Starters? Check out our other articles!
