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Do you still think that puns are the lowest form of comedy and that they’re not original or clever? Well, I’m here to prove you wrong!

Puns can be really clever, creative, and hilarious! Telling puns are an excellent way to make someone laugh. And don’t forget that laughing together can strengthen any relationship.

Funny Vegetable Puns

If you have bean looking for funny vegetable puns, your search is now over! We’re sharing our collection of puns about all kinds of vegetables that are guaranteed to give you and your friends a great thyme!

Check out these hilarious vegetable puns!

1. Why are mushrooms always invited to parties? Because they are such fungis.

It’s always awesome to hang out with fun guys!

2. My day was a total disas-tater!

I’m sorry to hear you had a bad day! Want some tater tots to cheer you up?

3. What do you call a table you can eat? A vegetable.

This is not funny!

4. He ra-dishes it out but he can’t take it.

What?! Does he make you eat radishes but don’t eat them himself?

5. What’s the fastest vegetable? A runner bean.

I bet it’s a green bean! Or maybe a string bean?

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6. What does a vegetable in love tell his date? Let’s not beet around the bush.

Slow down! You don’t want to scare off your date!

7. A piece of celery kept following a lettuce everywhere it went. Eventually the lettuce got mad. “Why are you stalk-ing me?” it asked.

Who knew celery stalks can be scary?

8. A lettuce and a tomato went on a date. They went to the salad bar.

It’s a match made in heaven! Our favourite vegetable duo!

9. What vegetable do chickens grow? Eggplants.

I like chicken and eggplants, so I’ll let this one slide!

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10.What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees.

They must carbo load a lot!

11. Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.

Looks aren’t everything! Go for it!

12. What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.

That is the question! Who knew potatoes are deep thinkers?

13. What’s the reddest vegetable? Beets me!

I have no idea!

14. What’s the favorite band of the soya bean? The Black-Eyed Peas!

Yeah, I’ve bean thinking about that one…

15. What does the nosey pepper do? He gets jalapeño business!

I don’t know, but that sounds hot!

16. Have you heard who’s bean cast? No, but I’m beans-ed!

This is getting a little too corny… Let’s move on.

👉 Take a look at our collection of over 80+ animal puns!


Cute Vegetable Puns

Looking for something cute and adorable to say that will make people melt? Cute puns about vegetables are one way to go for sure. Just be careful though. If you go overboard, you’ll end up making people groan in annoyance!

That’s why we have put together a list of cute vegetable puns that will make people go uwu! Lettuce bring out people’s smiles with these cute vegetable puns!

1. Lettuce never split up!

But I’m tired of eating lettuce when I’m on a diet!

2. Kindly keep calm and kiss me. I promise we will carrot on.

We’ll always find a way to carry on!

3. I need to take this picture for my instayam.

Are you taking a picture of that yummy mashed potatoes?

4. I need some peas and quiet.

Some people like to eat peas in silence.

5. Don’t kale my vibe.

If you’re forced to eat kale that you don’t like, that’s definitely going to kill your vibe!

6. Vegetable history lessons are very interesting. They learn all about the Caesar and Romaine Empire.

And I thought they were learning about Little Caesars Pizza!

7. I hope for world peas.

I’ll pray for world peace, but I think it’s a race agrainst time.

8. Haha, you kale me.

I know kale is healthy, but it’s killing me! Help!

9. The only thing I will ask you is to lettuce romaine friends.

I love romaine lettuce for my salad!

10.  A man got his girlfriend a bouquet made of lettuce. She thought it was very romaine-tic.

I’m sure his girlfriend would still prefer a bouquet of flowers though!

📖 Suggested read: 50+ Fruity Puns To Make You Laugh

11. Time to celery-brate!

If we’re going to celebrate by eating celery, let’s not do it anymore!

12. Taylor Swift sang, “You could’ve been gettin’ down to this sick beet.”

My ex-man brought his new girlfriend. She’s like, “Oh my God!”. I’m just gonna shake…(If you know you know!)

13. I’m kind of a big dill around here.

I don’t care if you’re a big deal!

14. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.

Or maybe it saw a hot potato? Mhhm, salad puns!

15. What did the ear of corn say when its crush complimented? It shucks!

I give up, let’s move on. These corn puns are kernal…

16. Why did the tomato go to the law school? To become a tomato paste!

That’s really tomato-ing! (I’m so sorry…)

17. What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.

I thought his favorite animals are baby vegetables! (At least the baby corn.)

18. How do you cheer up a baked potato? You butter it up.

Everybody loves potato puns!

19. Why were the root vegetables so cheap? They were in the bargain bean.

Let’s fill the whole basket with vegetables! Mhhm!

20. What’s every vegetable’s favorite movie? Fifty shades of grain!

Well… I’m out.

👉 If small talk bores you, there are many ways you can break the ice when meeting people. Check out some of these ideas for conversation starters!


Fruit and Vegetable Puns

Fruits and vegetable puns are the perfect tandem that will make you laugh while reminding you to eat healthy. If you cherry-ish your health and wellbeing, you should eat lots of fruits and veggies and laugh a lot too!

Good thing we have these hilarious fruit and vegetable puns that will give you energy throughout the day!

1. Caesar salads are really good at division. They can always find the romaine-der.

I love salads that have romaine and iceberg lettuce and roasted chicken flakes topped with a drizzle of Caesar salad dressing!

2. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a vegetable patch? Potatoes have eyes. The beans-talk and the corn have ears.

That’s quite a gossipy vegetable patch!

3. Good work, we’re raising your annual celery.

You’re raising my salary, right? As in giving me more money, not more vegetables!

4. Help me find a new place to rent. I don’t need mushrooms.

I’ll be happy with a studio apartment even if it doesn’t have much room!

5. Squeeze the day!

Let’s squeeze some orange juice while we seize the day!

6.  Why don’t bananas snore? Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

You need to be considerate if you’re always together!

7. What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey.

And I was imagining a monkey-shaped key! LOL!

8. Why was the vegetable crossing its legs? It had to take a leek.

I hate this when it happens!

9. I’d tell you a joke about a potato. I just don’t know where to starch.

Start with something simple!

10. I think you’re a pear-fect angel!

Don’t take that back when you see my devilish side in the future!

11. You’re one in a melon!

Do you think I’m one in a million? Awww…that’s so sweet!

12. I froze some raspberries last summer. You’re hot enough to defrost them.

Nice one! Haha, I think you’re hot too!

13. What did the bok choy say when it was harvested? I’ll be bok!

Hasta la vista, baby!

👉 Did these fruit and vegetable puns make you hungry for more laughs? Satisfy your need to laugh with these awesome food puns!


Bonus: Vegetable Puns Pick Up Lines

If you want to catch someone’s attention, you will definitely get it when you tell people vegetable puns pick-up lines! These pick-up lines about vegetables can range from wholesome to dirty or funny to cheesy in a heartbeat!

If you want to spice up your flirtation skills, try out any of these vegetable pick-up lines!

1. Peas be mine.

I’ll be yours if you always eat my green peas!

2. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber!

Thank you! I think you’re cute as a cucumber too!

3. I never knew that you are the one who made my heart beet this fast.

My heart beats so fast when I’m trying to run away from eating beets!

4. If I give you my number will you promise to kale me?

Call me maybe!

5. You look radish-ing.

I don’t want to look like a radish, but I don’t mind it if you call me ravishing!

6. Eggplant a kiss on me!

I love eggplants, and eggplants love me too!

7. You make my heart skip a beet!

My heart is beating like crazy for you too!

8. I think we’re mint to be!

Let’s drink our mojitos and toast to the fact that we’re meant to be!

9. I’d be willing to give up fruit — but I’d never give up on you.

I’d rather have you. ‘Nuff said.

10. Hey girl, are you a salad? Because I prefer you without dressing.

Well, I don’t want to see you undressed!

11. I don’t like vegetables, but I’d still like to put my eggplant in your salad.

Thanks but no thanks!

12. Is that a butternut squash in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

Why would anyone put a butternut squash in their pocket?!

13. You be my sweet potato, and I’ll be your spud muffin.

I love these as our pet names for each other!

👉 Looking for more reasons to laugh? Here are more funny puns to brighten your day!

Conversation Starters

Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime anywhere!