How To Get A Boyfriend
Are you looking for a partner? This guide will help you on your quest to find a boyfriend!
✍️ August 31, 2020
Oh, love - it can be so beautiful. No wonder, then, that many yearn for it. So you are fed up with being single and ask yourself: “How do I get a boyfriend?” You’ve come to the right place.
We have listed some tips for you that will help you in your search for a partner. With a little patience and these tips, nothing can go wrong.
We wish you a lot of fun and even more success in your search for a boyfriend!
- 👨 How to get a boyfriend
- 🙋♂️ Where to meet men
- 🤐 How to talk to a guy (you don’t know)
- ❤ How to win his heart
👨 How to get a boyfriend
I have to disappoint you right away because there is no formula for guaranteed success that will bring you a relationship. Also, there is not just one way to get a partner, but many. And one might work better for you than the other.
Basically, you have to decide which path to choose and which is the right one for you. The main thing is that you take action and bite the bullet. You just have to be patient and don’t despair.
What do you want?
Before you start your mission to find a boyfriend, you must first be clear about what you are actually looking for and what you expect from a partnership. A relationship often fails before it has even started because both want different things - or one of them doesn’t even know what they actually want.
So what do you expect from a relationship? How important is the partner in your life?
Would you give up your dreams for him? Would you expect the same from him? Do you want your boyfriend to be the person you want to have children with one day? Do you even want children? Do you want to get married, or do you think little of the construction of marriage? Or are you just looking for someone with whom you can share the beautiful moments in life without having great expectations of him? Challenging questions, right? In the course of this self-reflection, you should also clarify how willing you are to compromise.
You should also set specific standards that your dream partner should meet. Does he have to meet certain external expectations? Be a head taller than you? Should he be a creative free thinker? Someone who invests a lot of time in his success and earns a lot of money? Should he be a globetrotter and adventurer? Sporty? Or would you prefer someone who likes to be at home, with whom you can spend many movie nights?
Just don’t set your standards too high or expect anyone to be perfect. Nobody is.
Enjoy life
This tip is essential. Because only those who are happy on their own will be in a relationship in the long run. If you just want a partner because you think you’ll be better off, you bark up the wrong tree. You are solely responsible for your happiness. Do not make yourself and your emotional world dependent on another person.
As long as you are single, I would also recommend that you enjoy all of the advantages of being single. I don’t mean that you should be promiscuous and have a lot of sex (but of course you can), but that you devote yourself to things that would be a little more difficult for you in a relationship.
Have you always longed to go on a trip around the world or to live in another country for a while? Or have you always had that one project in your head that would take a lot of time?
Once you are in a relationship, you make certain commitments. And when you’re not lucky enough to have found a partner who wants to do all of these things with you, it becomes very difficult and frustrating.
What should you do?
- Experience new things. You can do this with friends, but preferably alone. That strengthens self-confidence.
- Meet new people, go to parties, visit new places. Be open-minded.
- Follow your hobbies, find passions, and try to achieve your goals. If you don’t have hobbies, try lots of new things.
- Above all, find things that you like to do alone, such as drawing, reading, writing, etc. This is how you learn to be alone.
- Do sports. It is enough if you only do moderate physical activity. The physical benefits aside, that also makes you feel better.
- Just have your fling and do what you feel like doing.
In this way, you not only make yourself more interesting but also mature as a person and maybe learn, among other things, what you value in other people and especially in men. Perhaps you will even recognize that you would rather be alone and appreciate this freedom. Because never forget one thing: There’s no shame in being single.
👉 Suggested read: How to flirt with men - The Ultimate Flirting Guide
Take your time
Take your time looking for a partner, and do not rush into anything. Learn to be happy on your own. This is the only way you will be in a relationship. So be patient. The first person to come is rarely the right one. You should also stick to the standards that your potential friend should meet. Be clear about what you want and what you don’t want. But if you’ve internalized the last two tips, it won’t be difficult for you.
Be self-confident
Confidence never hurts, as confident people are automatically more attractive. If this worries you and you’re afraid that unfortunately you’ve been born shy, consider the following: Shyness is not something inherited, it is something acquired. There are relatively easy ways to get more confident.
This is how you boost your self-confidence:
- Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses and accept them.
- Accept who you are.
- Have your own opinions, and don’t be afraid to advance it.
- Demand respect.
- Make decisions.
- Smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful, smart, and interesting you are. Do it until you believe it yourself and no longer feel weird about it. Preferably every day.
- Dare to smile at other people, especially men, and dare to approach them.
- Dress in a way that makes you feel great, even if you just go outside for a moment.
- Shoulders back, look straight.
- Do new things regularly and move outside of your comfort zone.
- Before going to bed, think about which event of today you are grateful for. Don’t give up until you can think of at least one thing, and if it was just your morning coffee. That way, you learn to appreciate the little things as well as the big ones.
- Set achievable goals for the day in the morning and do them too. In the evening, go over your list and check what you did and what you couldn’t do. Think about why some things worked, and some didn’t.
Take care of yourself
In order for you to feel good and attract attention, you have to take care of yourself. Your body is your temple, your spirit is your realm.
👉 Suggested read: How to get a girlfriend | Step-by-Step Guide
Your body:
- Take care of your body and shower daily.
- Brush your teeth at least twice a day and ideally use dental floss as well.
- A little deodorant and perfume are never wrong. Just don’t overdo it.
- Put on make-up if you like, but don’t overdo it as well.
- Dress so that you feel comfortable but still look good.
- A little exercise never hurts. That also keeps your mind fit.
Your inner life:
- Have a positive attitude.
- Educate yourself and do the things that interest you.
- Hobbies and passions are vital!
- Don’t talk badly about others behind their backs.
- Wear an inner smile.
- Try yoga and meditation. This calms the mind and makes you feel good.
- Be grateful for the little things.
- Treat yourself every now and then, but not all the time. Especially as a reward!
- Be aware of your own worth. You are great!
He could be anywhere
In principle, you could meet your dreamboat anywhere. So when you leave the house, it is of great advantage if you don’t look like you came right out of the jungle. So make at least a little effort when you leave the house. You don’t have to look gorgeous like you’re going to a wedding today, but you need to be attractive in a casual way. Unfortunately, humans are visual beings, and the first thing they see isn’t your great character. Your charisma, however, is seen. So have a positive attitude.
Don’t be too picky
This tip goes along with the standards you have set. It’s only natural to try to find the best possible partner for yourself, and it’s perfectly fine to be picky to some extent, too. But just because a man is maybe two inches too short for you, his nose is a little crooked, or he has a job that you don’t like, you should still give him a chance to prove himself.
More tips:
Show emotions. Don’t be a cold facade, but show those around you when you are happy about something or when something annoys you. It is important to be shown how you are feeling. And don’t be afraid to smile at people. Especially when you like someone. That way, you don’t scare them away with the so-called " resting bitch face".
Say yes to things that you would otherwise say no to. Dare to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. This will make you more confident, but also get to know new people and experience great moments.
Be social and meet up with your friends regularly. It’s best to do something where you meet other people as well.
Ask your friends if they know someone who might be a good match for you.
Don’t neglect your friends once you have a boyfriend.
A relationship is not the end of the road. Most of the time, a relationship is beautiful, but it has many advantages and disadvantages, like being single. A relationship means work. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Prepare for it. But this also applies to your significant other.
👉 Suggested read: The Ultimate Guide to Confidence & Improving Self-Esteem
🙋♂️ Where to meet men
Basically, men are not difficult to find. Your dream man could be just about anywhere. You just have to go out into the wide world and meet him!
When going out
Whether in a bar, a disco, or at any event: Men are probably not far away. As a woman, you have the advantage that the proportion of men is usually much higher than women’s proportion.
Tips for going out
- As a woman, you are in the fortunate position that you are more likely to be approached than the other way around. If someone approaches you who you don’t like, let them know you’re not interested in a friendly manner and don’t get mean. That should only be the last measure if he doesn’t let himself get rid of. It is often an enormous challenge for guys to talk to a woman. If he can’t handle being rejected, that shouldn’t be your problem either.
- When a man looks at you who you like, don’t forget to smile. That should be enough evidence for him that you like him. Often that’s enough for you to be approached. If he smiled back, but nothing happened, then:
- Dare to speak to him. Yes, it is difficult and takes some effort, but it is worth it. Basically, as a woman, you have the advantage that most men honor it when this step is taken for them. Even when he’s not interested, a man tends to be friendly when he’s approached.
- If you go out and are on the hunt for men, then position yourself visibly. You can dress up like the most beautiful girl in the world, but if you can’t be seen, it won’t do anything. So don’t hide between all your girlfriends.
- If you are going out with the intention to find a boyfriend, the best thing to do is not to go out with other men. That scares off a lot of guys. How should they know you are not the girlfriend of someone there? A group of girls is much better suited.
- Don’t sit all the time; walk around a little. Preferably alone every once in a while. This is how you give men the chance to approach you. Talking to someone in a group is much more of a challenge than approaching an individual.
- Don’t get drunk. Having some drinks to loosen up is perfectly fine. But make sure you don’t get completely wasted. First, it can be very off-putting; second, it could be taken advantage of by someone you might not want to get to know.
- Don’t keep rejecting men and give them a chance. So if you don’t want to be alone any longer, you should also give those you normally would reject a chance unless they don’t meet your standards at all (which hopefully aren’t too high). At least a casual conversation should be included.
Other places
Places you don’t usually expect to be approached are perfect for getting to know someone in an unconventional way! In the supermarket, on the street, in a café, wherever. You can also act innocently and simply make a compliment.
👉 Suggested read: Everything You Need To Know About The Friend Zone
Most importantly, you can search in places you like to be. For example, if you enjoy going to the library or the bookstore, then you could meet someone like-minded there.
In or through your circle of friends
Who knows, maybe there is someone in your circle of friends that you would like to have as a boyfriend? Then you have the advantage of already knowing him. Ask him if he’d like to do something with you. If you don’t dare to, you can plan something with your clique and then get closer to him.
If there is nobody in your circle of friends, we usually know a lot of people outside of our primary connections. Just ask your friends if they know someone who would be a good match for you and do something with that person. Or plan a party where everyone can take others along. It’s important to think outside the box and meet new people.
Dating apps and online dating
Online dating has long since arrived in the middle of society and is no longer a taboo. I hardly know anyone who has not yet tried to get to know someone this way.
Dating apps like Tinder etc. are particularly suitable. You can decide for yourself who to contact. Unfortunately, these apps are mostly very superficial, which is why it makes sense to make the most of your profile in order to be as appealing as possible.
Also, writing a message on Tinder is a lot easier than approaching someone in real life. If you need tips, here’s a great article for you: How to start a conversation on Tinder
🤐 How to talk to a guy (you don’t know)
Even if the conservative world view that still prevails says that the man has to approach the woman, you should dare to bite the bullet. Girl power! If you like a guy, you should be ready to talk to him too. It’s faster that way. And if you wait, you lose. So stop waiting.
Prepare yourself
Especially if you are nervous, it is a good idea to prepare what to say. If you need help with that, we’ve got a great article for you that will show you amazing conversation starters. You could also confront him with a funny question.
If you want to be cheeky and swap roles, you could also try pick-up lines! Said by girls, they tend to be much more popular!
Ask questions, be interested, and listen
It is extremely important that he feels that you are listening to him. Put your smartphone away and give him all your attention. If you’re asking questions that deal with what he has been saying, that’s perfect!
Try to have good conversations and find common ground. Most of the time, we find people with similar interests a lot more interesting.
Be confident and yourself
The former is easier said than done, but it can be done relatively quickly if you follow the tips above. Be true to yourself and your principles. You are amazing!
Don’t put him on a pedestal
No matter how cool, beautiful, or awesome you think he is, treat him like a friend and a normal person. Feel free to show interest, but don’t adore him or think everything he says is great if it isn’t.
Be open-minded and flirt
There is nothing wrong with showing him in subtle ways that you like him. You can touch him at innocuous spots, tease him a little, and flirt with him.
Get his number
If the conversation goes well, don’t forget to ask for his number. It’s best to set up a date soon.
If you need help with dates, here are some great articles that will surely help you out:
When he’s not interested or already taken
Then it’s no big deal. Don’t be mad about it, and get back on track. Your significant other is out there - just courage and patience.
Bonus: If you don’t dare to speak to him
There are several ways to make yourself “tasty” to him if you are too shy:
- Stay close to him. For example, if he goes to the bar and orders something, you also happen to be there. He’s standing next to the dance floor, then go dancing. He rummages through the thrillers in the bookstore, rummage there too. Just don’t overdo it.
- Smile at him when he looks at you and keep eye contact for a few moments. Most guys understand that that’s a sign of interest.
- Pay attention to your posture. Crossed arms or legs can be seen as a sign of rejection just as much as if you turn away from him. He could interpret that as disinterest. So have an open body language.
- Pay attention to your charisma. If you have a so-called “resting bitchface”, that is, you look annoyed like forty days of rainy weather, or you radiate negativity in general, you should make sure that you look like good company. Have fun.
- Send a friend to him. This is the brute force method if you don’t have the guts yourself. However, the problem here is often that it makes your friend attractive to the man because she has shown the courage to speak to him. So it can work, but it can also go down the drain. It would be wiser to approach him yourself.
❤ How to win his heart
So you’ve finally found that one who makes your heart beat faster and should be by your side. But how do you make him want you too?
Get to know each other properly
It is essential that you really get to know each other. Love cannot be forced; it arises over time. Look for common ground, get to know his interests, talk to him often, and have fun.
If you’re struggling to have a conversation, here are three great articles that are sure to help:
If you take the time to get to know him properly, you will also find out if he really is who you think he is. Maybe he’s very different from what you expected. But perhaps he’s even better.
Do things together
Don’t just sit around at home, twiddling your thumbs. Go out there in the world and have many exciting dates together. Get creative, and don’t always do the same thing. Create great memories.
Wait with sex
Whether or not you take this tip to heart is up to you, but I would strongly advise you to wait before having sex. The reason for this is that you can find out whether he is serious about you. If he can wait for it, he probably really likes you. It also gives him time to develop emotions. Women often believe that having sex is how they can buy a guy’s love. Unfortunately, the opposite is usually the case. Many often cannot distinguish between desire and love - and love takes time. As soon as sex is checked off for him, it can happen that he’s not interested any longer.
You can also optionally tell him that you only sleep with someone you are in a relationship with. That way, you can show him where it’s at and what he’s getting into.
Lure him
Seduction is often like fishing for women. Bait him like a fish and then let him dangle a little. Always leave him in the dark about it. Before he scrams, he gets another bait. Just don’t play the unreachable, and don’t make him wait too much. This whole tip may sound quite mean, but it makes you more interesting and can help you quite a bit in the long run. Seduction is a game.
Ask him
If you think he has emotions for you and that you want him as your boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with asking him about a relationship. You should just wait a little. If you’ve only known each other for a week or two or only seen each other three times, it’s definitely far too early. I wouldn’t think about asking until a month or so. If he wants a relationship with you too, congratulations!
