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💋 How to flirt with guys

So you want to turn the head of this one guy and drive him crazy about you? Then you’ve come to the right place.

While men are often a bit clumsier in their approach, women are usually much more subtle when it comes to flirting. The fine nuances make the difference!

Have fun with this article and good luck with your flirting!

🤔 What is flirting?

Flirting is the attempt to show one’s sexual interest in a person in an inconspicuous, erotic way. It’s a game, so to speak.

Sexual tension is built up when flirting. Some flirt to get to know someone, others for fun. Decide for yourself when and with whom you flirt. In principle, you can flirt anywhere and in any way imaginable. Often a simple eye contact combined with a lascivious smile is an excellent flirt!

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🙋‍♂️‍ How to flirt with a guy

There is little difference in flirting between men and women, but mostly the woman takes on the passive role. But that doesn’t have to be the case, as it corresponds to an outdated role model. Don’t be afraid to take the reins in your own hands! That’s sexy!

Often, however, it is preferred by men if the woman is not too brash but rather subtle. When a woman doesn’t reveal her interest straight away, but only suggests it, it drives men crazy. This is how they go insane because they don’t know whether you find them attractive or not. Men don’t necessarily find it hot when a woman is pushy either!

But before we go through the individual points, it is time to prepare!

Before the flirt

Before the flirt is after the flirt. Prepare yourself well before you get into the fray and have fun with men. Make the best of yourself.

Make the most of what you have

We’re all special in one way or another. So try to draw attention to the things about yourself that you are particularly proud of. Show what you got girl! Most of these tips will go without saying, hopefully. Let’s go through them anyway.

It is very important that you feel comfortable in your skin. Take care of your body:

  • Take a good shower at least once a day.
  • Wash your hair as soon as it looks greasy. Depending on how quickly this happens to you, it will probably be every two days.
  • Brush your teeth at least twice a day. The use of dental floss is also very welcome!
  • Deodorants and perfumes are great but don’t overdo them. Find something that smells like you. You should still have some of your natural smell.
  • Even if you don’t like sports, a little exercise never hurts. This will also keep your mind fit and will help you feel more comfortable.
  • Slip into fresh clothes.

Your style:

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  • If you like, you can put on makeup. Just don’t smack a ton of makeup on your face, but emphasize your natural beauty.
  • Get an attractive, fashionable haircut. If that’s not for you, how about trimming?
  • Dress in such a way that you feel comfortable in it, but also look attractive at the same time. Find the perfect balance.
  • Don’t be afraid to try something unusual, funky.

Be careful of your posture. It is extremely important that you do not stand hunched over. Shoulders back, chest out, stomach in, head up. Don’t keep your eyes on the floor. Emphasize your bust, no matter how big or small it is. If you feel more comfortable, you can also use a push-up bra. But believe me, the size of your breasts isn’t as important as you think. There are lovers for every bust size. Feel sexy, then you radiate it too!

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Your body language is also extremely important! You always send signals whether you want to or not. Make sure to keep your posture open, such as not crossing your arms or legs, when talking to someone you like.

👉 Suggested read: How to flirt with a girl: The Best Tips

Beautiful people are more successful. Not just with the opposite sex, but in life in general. Several studies have proven this. Isn’t that unfair? So what should you do if you think you are not beautiful?

I can assure you: you are definitely more beautiful than you feel. However, your charisma is always more important than your actual appearance. Be positive, go through life with a smile, and laugh.

It can be difficult for some. If that is the case with you too, then you should work on your self-confidence.

Pay attention to your emotional life

Just as important, if not more important than how you look, is what goes on inside you. A person with a cheerful charisma is a thousand times more attractive than someone who appears constantly depressed. Studies have also proven that: Happy people who laugh are more attractive than their depressed, pessimistic twins.

What should you do then?

  • Have a positive attitude. Meditate or do yoga if you have trouble with this. That is an extremely good balance.
  • Be yourself. Stand by who you are.
  • Be passionate about everything you do.
  • Do things that really interest you. So use your free time productively!
  • Use your free time for hobbies and passions.
  • Wear an inner smile. Even if you make a mistake, you should be able to laugh about it and not start swearing.
  • Be thankful for the little things in life.
  • Avoid a busy schedule. Be alone every now and then and enjoy a nice evening in peace and relaxation.
  • Be aware of your own worth. You are great!
  • Work on your confidence.


A confident charisma is really sexy. If you are aware of your own worth, you appear a lot more interesting. In addition, a healthy dose of self-esteem will help you feel more comfortable all around.

📖 Suggested read: How to flirt over text

This is how you boost your self-confidence:

  • Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Stand by yourself.
  • Stand by your opinion.
  • Admit mistakes and be capable of criticism without being offended.
  • Maintain eye contact with people you speak to.
  • Get out of your comfort zone regularly and try new things!
  • Have the courage to speak to strangers.
  • Demand respect.
  • Dare to say no.
  • Be able to laugh at yourself.

The flirt itself

Flirting is great. The fact that women take on the passive role in flirting should be out of date, but in some cases, it is not. So prove how emancipated you are and flirt for as long as you can. Dare to approach men too!

Visual stimuli and the sending of signals

Since men are quite visually beings, you should send visual signals. Especially if you’re too shy to speak to him, the signals need to be clear for him to speak to you. Maintain eye contact, smile, play with your hair, wink at him.

If you’re already talking to each other, you could lick your lips or nibble on them. Emphasizing the lips is great for getting him going. You could also apply lip gloss to really show off and attract everyone’s attention. That way, he’ll want to kiss you. That he can’t do this right now is going to drive him crazy!

80 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines
Suggested read: 80 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines

And as mentioned before, eye contact is extremely important. Smile at him.

You can also bring your body into certain poses. Emphasize your buttocks and chest in a very inconspicuous way. Only minimally, so that he hardly notices it.

Also, pay attention to your facial expressions. Don’t show a frozen face, just smile cheekily, blink lasciviously. Men are sometimes a little “silly”, so send him the clearest possible signals that you are interested but don’t overdo it. The nice thing about flirting is the uncertainty if someone is actually flirting.

If you want to be cheeky you could check out enemy terrain and read our article about how to tell if a girl likes you. If you follow the tips there, he will be quite puzzled if you like him or not!

Be honest, stay relaxed and friendly

When you talk to this guy, don’t try to be someone you are not. Stand by who you are. Keep it casual and friendly. It’s best to smile at him with your most beautiful smile.

Remember that flirting is all about having fun!

Be a woman

Due to their evolution, men like to be pack leaders and hunters and usually have a strong protective instinct. So let him guide and pamper you. You can also ask him for help, for example if he could carry something heavy for you. Just don’t take advantage of him.

That way you also see how much he puts up with. Hopefully he won’t end up in the friend zone.

Body contact

Establishing physical contact while flirting is essential. Touch him in harmless places, such as his arm or shoulder. You can also “accidentally” touch his hand if you walk next to each other. A gentle stroke is enough. Watch how he reacts!

Mirror him

You probably won’t be surprised, but most of the time we like those people who are similar to us best. And so it often happens that we unconsciously copy the posture and movement of a person we like. At the same time, it also makes us more likable to this person.

Make use of this knowledge and mirror your counterpart every now and then. Just do it inconspicuously and don’t overdo it.

Tease him and be ambiguous

Teasing someone is a great way to flirt. However, try not to offend the person or make fun of them. Teasing someone is a loving indication of imperfections, garnished with a few small thorns.

And with ambiguity, you can drive him crazy. If you say something suggestive every now and then, it will fuel the fire immensely! Men are usually enormously receptive to this.


Compliments are seldom wrong, but I would rather refrain from them at first. However, men, in particular, are often more receptive to this than women, as they are usually used to being the ones who give compliments. This is how you flip the roles - perfect! But don’t overdo it! A single compliment is usually enough to get you started. Otherwise, you are revealing too much of your interest in him.

The best compliments you could give are the ones about conscious decisions that are part of his personality, like his hairstyle, his clothes, tattoos, or piercings.

You can also give anti-compliments. This is sometimes mean, but it can work very well and is not entirely dissimilar to teasing. Anti-compliments are compliments, paired with a statement that can be interpreted as a possible insult. This is how you can also learn about the man’s self-worth.

  • You have beautiful fingernails - for a man.
  • Your gray hair suits you!
  • It’s great that you are so confident despite everything.

If you say all of this with a cheeky smile, he definitely won’t be mad at you! However, if he is a person who tends to self-doubt, then better skip anti-compliments!

Get his number

If you don’t yet know the man you’re flirting with, but would like to get to know him better, you definitely need to get his number. Don’t be afraid to ask about it if he doesn’t do it himself.

Of course, you can also follow each other on social media if that’s more your thing.

Ask him out on a date

After you’ve received his number it’s best to wait for one or two days. Then ask him for a date if he hasn’t asked you yet.

If you’re nervous we’ve got the perfect article for your first date and another one about topics for the first date.

😘 Flirt tips for girls

The following tips bring that certain something!

Approach men as well

Even if you may be afraid of it and have been taught that the man is approaching the woman, you should just bite the bullet. If you like someone, talk to them! If you want you could even do it under a pretext. And men are usually very happy when the girl is making the first move.

Swap roles for fun

For a way of change, you could swap roles and try to pick up men with pick-up lines! Maybe you can come up with other ways in which you could be the man while flirting! That’s sure to make him smile!

Have great conversations

It is important that you get along well. So take a deep breath and think about what to say. In principle, what you say is not so important. Most important is, that you keep it relaxed and funny. Keep asking follow-up questions whenever he tells you something to keep the conversation going. And listen to him carefully and remember what he says!

We’ve got amazing article about conversation topics, fun questions and interesting questions to ask a guy if having conversations is tough for you.

Cross his path “by accident”

If you know where he is, you could be there “by chance”. He will either be amazed and/or happy to see you! Based on his reaction, you can also see how much he likes you.

However, you should also have a good reason to be there when this is usually not an area you hang around.

Leave him always wanting more

It’s best to go when it’s most beautiful. So he will always be separated from you with a feeling of wellbeing that he wants back. He will always want more from you!

Don’t write back immediately

Even if you have a very good conversation using text messages, you shouldn’t respond within five minutes. Give yourself sometimes a day to answer. Stay mysterious! Just don’t torment him too much!

Lure him

I like to compare a woman’s seduction skills to fishing. Bait him and then let him dangle. Keep yourself covered and stay mysterious. As long as he remains in the unknown how he is with you, you are insanely interesting. That may sound mean, but it is not and will help you enormously. Flirting is a game.

Wait with the sex

If you are just looking for the good ol’ rumpy-pumpy ignore this point. But if you want that guy to be your potential boyfriend, you should step on the brakes.

If you keep him waiting, he’ll want you more and more. He will try to win your heart much more that way and in time he will develop many feelings for you. This is how you can also find out whether he is serious about you or not.

Awkward silence

Most of the time, awkward silence is only uncomfortable because you are making it awkward. As long as you take the pressure off yourself and accept that not every conversation can flow like a river, it usually doesn’t matter.

But you could still prepare with some topics to talk about if that happens often to you.

Don’t put him on a pedestal

One of the biggest mistakes in seduction is becoming submissive to the other person. See each other as equals and meet him on an eye level. He has to conquer you, not the other way around. At the very least, he should feel like he is in control and should think that he was the driving force.

Dealing with rejection

If he’s not interested or already has a girlfriend, don’t be upset and sad. That’s life. Carry on as before. Learn to deal with this.

Practice regularly

If you flirt over and over again, you will never rust. There’s nothing wrong about flirting either. Believe me, you’ll have fun driving men crazy!

Don’t forget the power of your facial expressions

Smile when you like someone, don’t smile when you don’t like someone. Often it is enough for you to smile at a man for him to speak to you. If not, you at least made his day.

Position yourself visibly

If you are going out and are looking for a man, then you shouldn’t be hiding. Present yourself a little, put yourself in the limelight. Otherwise, all the dressing up is useless!

Don’t hide between your girlfriends either, but separate yourself from them for a few moments to give shy men a helping hand, to talk to you.

😏 Obvious flirting signals

The big problem with flirting is that you often cannot tell whether they are currently flirting or not. But that’s what makes the whole thing so exciting. But since men tend to be less subtle than women, some quite safe signals indicate that he is flirting with you most of the time.

He treats you differently

You will likely only recognize this signal when you’re flirting with someone you already know. If he treats you differently than other women, especially in a positive way, then he is likely to be flirting.

Should he be “mean”, that can still be a sign. Maybe he’s just extremely bad at playful teasing.

He smiles at you in a special way

It is not an ordinary smile that he gives you, but this very special one. You know what I mean!

He asks about your relationship status

Maybe he asks very subtly and not at all directly. E.g. he wants to know if you have plans for the weekend and listens very carefully to see if you are talking about “your boyfriend”. Or maybe he’ll ask you directly.

He tries to make physical contact

As mentioned above, physical contact is important when flirting. But men are sometimes a bit clumsy. Maybe he’s trying to tickle you or pulling lint off your blouse.

He looks nervous

If he seems nervous around you or during your conversation, he’ll at least find you interesting or intimidating. Whether he dares to flirt is another question.

He’s trying to impress you

Whether he is frank or subtle, men try to impress women they like. That’s normal. So if he does that, you’ll know what game is being played. Hopefully, he’s not a boast!

He’s trying to make you laugh

Humor is something very important. So if he’s trying to make you laugh, chances are high that he’s trying to flirt with you.

He teases you

Teasing someone is often part of flirting. And very effective on top of that. Get on the teasing train and tease each other!

He compliments you

If he keeps telling you how pretty you are today or how well your outfit looks on you, he is pretty sure flirting with you.

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