How to flirt over text

Want to flirt with someone over text? This guide will teach you how to flirt over WhatsApp, Tinder, and any other instant message service.

✍️ February 26, 2021

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😉 How to flirt over text
👩 How to flirt over text with a girl
👨 How to flirt over text with a guy

You’ve met this cute girl on this party last week and want to get to know her better? Or you’ve matched this handsome guy on Tinder and want to flirt with him using text? Flirting over text can be daunting for some but it’s actually pretty easy and great fun! Regardless of whether you are in contact with this person via Tinder, WhatsApp, SMS, Facebook, or Grindr: These tips always work.

Have fun and good luck flirting!

😉 How to flirt over text

The days of sending each other letters are over. Today you don’t wait days or weeks for an answer, you can communicate with one another in a flash without using your voice. The following tips will turn your conversation partner’s head.

Start the conversation

The first message is probably the hardest and most important. It decides whether the person is interested in talking to you or not. However, it also depends on how you know each other, how much you like each other, and for how long already.

If you know each other from work, school, or university, for example, you have probably spoken to each other at some point. Then something that you recently talked about is a good first message. Ask a question about it.

If you only know each other from online or have not yet communicated with each other, you probably have to make a little more effort. Be fun, easy-going, and avoid being boring.

Do you want to start a great conversation on Tinder? Take a look at our How to start a conversation on Tinder article!

Be cute and funny

The key to flirting is humor. They should laugh and be happy as soon as they see a message from you on their display. Try to take things easy, laugh at yourself, and see the whole thing as a game!

It is also never wrong to be sweet in moderation. For example, if you write to the person, they will know that you were thinking of them. So there is no point in hiding it. So feel free to mention it. “Hey, was just walking by the river and had to think of you. Would you like to join me someday?”

Keep it short

It is extremely important that you do not write too long paragraphs. We live in fast-paced times; hardly anyone wants to spend five minutes reading a message. Keep your message short and to the point.

Also, be careful not to write multiple messages in a row. That seems very needy and is quite annoying. For my part, I go crazy when my phone rings several times in a row, and all messages are from the same person. And most people feel the same way. Wait for a reply before sending another message.

If the person doesn’t answer for several days, you can send another one. However, accept if the person is obviously not interested in you. Then stop bothering them. Some people write back just out of courtesy. If you find they’re not really responding to your messages, leave them alone.

And even if the advice is to keep it short, avoid answering with just one word. “Yes”, “no” and “ok” can sometimes be viewed as very passive-aggressive. However, if a single word is sufficient as an answer, you can put an emoji after it.

“Yes 😊” looks a lot friendlier than “Yes”.

Ask interesting questions

Honest and interesting questions are always preferable to ordinary ones. So don’t keep asking “How are you?” or “What did you do over the weekend?” Such questions are usually extremely boring and are often only answered out of politeness.

If you have common interests, address them with a question. A new fantasy film is set in the cinema, and you are both crazy about that genre? “Hey, have you seen the new …? No? We really have to watch it together!”

Has the person recently had problems with a colleague? Then you can address it as follows: “Hey, has XY finally calmed down and apologized to you? Or do I have to come over and raise an eyebrow sternly?”

If you can’t come up with questions on your own, here’s a great article which is sure to give you great ideas!

Keep the conversation going

It’s important that the conversation isn’t getting boring. If this does happen, it can quickly die down. So ask follow-up questions and don’t answer laconically with just one word.

But also recognize when a conversation should end. It’s best to stop when it’s most beautiful. That way, the person wants more from you and can’t wait to hear from you again. The following phrases are suitable:

“I have to call it a day; I have something urgent to do. We’ll read each other 😉”
“Time for bed. Tomorrow is a long day. Sleep tight and dream well 😘”

Ask for a Date as soon as possible before your conversation is falling asleep!

Give nicknames

A relatively clear sign that you are flirting are certain nicknames. It’s best to be sweet, but do not overdo it. Nicknames that come up on their own are best. But if you can’t think of any, the following cute nicknames would work too:

Cutie pie
Sexy
Sunshine
Sleepyhead
Prince or princess

Some of these depend on the situation. You won’t call someone sunshine who tends to be down. Otherwise, this could be viewed as criticism. It behaves similarly with sleepyhead. Someone who gets up at six every day to go jogging is hardly suitable for this nickname. With prince or princess I would also hold back at the beginning - these are only suitable if you have been writing to each other for a long time.

Tease, tease, tease

Few other things are as effective at flirting as teasing. Just don’t get mean. There’s a big difference between teasing and insulting. If you’ve gone too far, you should apologize.

Do not repeat yourself

Don’t write the same things all the time. Stay unpredictable and refreshing! So don’t start the day by typing “Good morning” every time. For a change you could also write: “Is my sunshine still asleep or why is it so cloudy today?”

Ask for a date

It is important that you do not write to each other forever. No matter how well things go between the two of you, at some point the spark dies if you don’t take the whole thing to the next level.

When asking them out, make it short and easy like it’s no big deal. It is best to also relate to a topic you just talked about. Did you just talk about Asian food? “Fancy sushi on Thursday?” Was it about an amusement park? “Do we want to go on Sunday?”

Do not wait for too long to ask for a date; otherwise, you slip into the friend zone. You don’t want to be there, trust me.

Sexting, photos and the power of suggestion

Especially at the beginning, you should wait with eroticism. Don’t get lewd right away; it just takes away all the charm. Wait for it until you know each other better. Your counterpart has to “earn” it, so to speak.

I would also advise against sending nude photos - so-called “nudes”. If anything, don’t do this until you already know each other better. You never know what will happen to your pictures.

Unlike nudes, you can still flirt with normal photos. Send photos of yourself with friends or during an activity. You can also calmly get suggestive.

Being suggestive is way hotter than talking openly about sexual issues. “I really like your dress, but I think I like you better without it” is a hundred times better than “I want to see you naked.”

If something is said like: “That thing is incredibly thick.” (E.g., a book) you could say: “That’s what she said” or “I know something else thick.” And when asked what you mean, you could say: “The dog of my neighbors.”

If things are already looking quite good between you two, you can also ask a somewhat suggestive question: “What would we be doing together if it weren’t for (some reason)?” The good thing about a question like this is that it leaves a lot of room for interpretation. For example, if you were asked this question, you can react very cheekily to it and ignore the sexual aspect completely: “I would probably destroy you in Mario Kart right now.”

Make flirty compliments

In order to flirt, it is always better to polish your compliments. A compliment like “The restaurant got ten degrees hotter when you entered” clearly shows interest, but is still far better than: “You’re hot.”

Be mysterious

It has its own charm when you don’t answer questions directly. You don’t even have to lie, you can just answer very vaguely.

To a question like “How was your day?”, instead of your typical answer or a list of all events, you can answer: “Wow, pretty weird, to be honest.” They surely want to know what happened. If you then let them wait a little, you increase the tension!

You can also say something completely obscure that doesn’t have to be true (and possibly can’t be true at all): “Oh, as always. Rescued a kitten from a burning house and received the bravery medal. Just a completely normal day.”

More tips

It is more important to generate emotions than to convey information.
Never get jealous!
Do not write back too quickly, but also not too slowly. If it’s already evening, feel free to reply the next day.
Avoid sending messages while drunk.
It is much easier to misinterpret something in writing than in real life. So avoid reading too much into their messages.
Sometimes, it is advisable to reread the messages before sending them.
Now and then, speak of “we” and “us”. Get personal. The person should see the two of you as a unit.
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. It can be extremely off-putting when you keep making mistakes.
Don’t overdo it with punctuation marks and emojis. One question mark and one exclamation mark are much better than three, four, or hundreds.
After a date or a meeting, it shows a certain kind of appreciation when you ask the person if they got home safely.
Flirting over text should not replace real flirting. If you can’t see each other otherwise, then keep on doing it. But otherwise, it should be at most a gap filler.

👩 How to flirt over text with a girl

Normally, women are a bit more reserved than men when it comes to flirting. This means that as a man, you should take the initiative. Don’t be shy, especially with text; it’s a lot easier than you think. Just relax and don’t make it a big deal. You can be a little bolder. But don’t be huffy if she doesn’t go into it completely and writes things like “Oh, you think?”, “Let’s see …” or something similar. Women love to test men. If you react negatively to such answers, you have failed the test.

Examples:

I make the first move with my approach, so I expect you to take it with kissing 😜
I can’t decide how to start this conversation. With a compliment, a terrible pick-up line, or with a simple “hello”. You decide 😉
Guess which emoji I put next to your name on my phone 😏
What are your plans for the weekend besides hanging out with me, of course? 😉
Our first kiss is going to be legendary, don’t you think? 😜
I’m missing your face right now. Would you like to send me a photo 🙊
Just so you know, my battery only has 2 % left, and I use the last bit to write to you 🙃
Good Morning! Hopefully, your day will be as great as you are 😘
It’s a shame that I wasn’t allowed to bring you breakfast in bed this morning ☕🥓🥞

If you have troubles flirting with women, here’s an amazing article which shows you how to reel them in: How to flirt with a girl!

👨 How to flirt over text with a guy

Usually, it is men who take the initiative in flirting. But if he doesn’t, then it’s up to you to take over that part. Bait him! Most of the time, getting a man interested in you isn’t difficult at all. You just have to be clever and use the tips above.