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First Date Questions

Congratulations on your date! Wherever you got to know your date, be it on Tinder, in a bar, in a supermarket, or through your friends, here you will find the perfect list of great questions for your first date. They will help you always have something to talk about.

If the date is still being planned and you are still looking for good ideas for the date, we have an excellent list of date ideas that can make your rendezvous unforgettable: 200 Date ideas!

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We hope you enjoy these 80+ questions for the first date!

What to talk about on a first date?

You are not alone with this question. Even if a lot of people care more about what to wear on a date, the most important thing is what to talk about on a first date. It is essential for a successful rendezvous that you establish a connection with the person you’re meeting and have fun.

But first, you shouldn’t neglect our most important piece of advice: don’t forget to ask follow-up questions. Your date should not be an interview but should consist of conversations and great moments. This list is only intended as an impetus.

So what should you talk about on a first date? Actually, it doesn’t really matter as long as you make it exciting. Below are some questions that will help you should the conversation stall or if you need input. But more important are a few general points of reference for good discussions:

  1. Be a good listener and be interested: Ask questions and respond to what has been said. If you, for example, ask, “How are you?”, mean the question seriously and don’t just ask it like that. The same should also apply to the person you’re dating. So that the person can listen to you, you mustn’t be too reserved, no matter how nervous or shy you are. The person has taken time for you, so they are there to listen to you.

  2. Do not speak badly of yourself: Don’t talk yourself down, and don’t bash yourself. Few things make you as unattractive as a bad self-image. You are a person who deserves love. Period. However, you shouldn’t brag either. Modesty is a virtue.

  3. Do not lie: Lies don’t travel far, and sooner or later you will get caught. Be honest, but maybe not too honest. You can also sugarcoat things.

  4. Play neither face down nor face-up cards: Hold your cards close to your chest. This tip may sound like it contradicts the last one, but it doesn’t. You don’t have to feel like a liar. The thing is: If you reveal everything from the start, you will quickly become boring.

  5. Don’t try to one-up the person all the time: Nothing is more annoying than someone who always has to tell the better story or the better joke or whatever. Your date tells you about a great trip, and you have to tell about your much better one. Just don’t be that kind of person.

What to NOT talk about on a first date?

There are topics that should be left aside on a first date. If you talk about one of the following topics, your date could either end up in a fight, or it could just look plain weird. It is best to avoid the following topics at first:

1. Politics

Since people’s opinions often differ widely, especially when it comes to politics, it would be more than advisable to only raise this issue at a later rendezvous.

2. Religion

Religion is hardly inferior to politics in terms of opinions. Even though a lot of people are no longer believers nowadays, this topic can lead to heated debates, which may not be desirable for your first date.

3. Ex-partners

Even if talking about past relationships can be very revealing, you should only approach this topic with great caution and if the situation is right - especially if you are not yet completely over someone. And scolding a past love is rarely well-received.

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4. Money

It doesn’t matter whether you earn a lot or little, it shouldn’t concern anyone on the first date. Those who brag quickly look unappealing, those who can’t even afford food look needy. And neither is necessarily advantageous when looking for a partner.

5. Sex

There are probably only a few people who don’t like it: sex. But talking about it on the first date can come across as weird. If the conversation headed for it on its own, then maybe you could talk a little about it. I would, however, move on to another topic in a very inconspicuous manner and not focus too much on it. Rushing something can get down the drain very fast and hurt the feelings of the other if it doesn’t work out with both of you.

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Questions to get to know each other

These questions are great for getting to know the one you’re dating and making great first talks. If you already know each other a little better, you can of course skip these questions, although they are always fun anyway.

1. Are you as nervous as I am?

Admitting weaknesses automatically makes you human and likable. Only a very few are not nervous on a first date. Of course, you should only ask this question if you are actually nervous.

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2. Which film or book title best describes your life?

This question is great because it can reveal a lot about the person you’re meeting. Here you can invent a title or choose an existing one. This is a great question to get a rough idea of how the person you’re talking to sees themself.

3. How would you describe your humor? What makes you laugh?

We all laugh at different things. Some like black humor, some prefer something rather harmless. For example, my sense of humor is so weird that no one laughs at it but myself.

4. Do you do sports? If so, how often?

A probably fairly average question, but it’s never wrong. If you share a passion for the same sport, you could play a sport together on the next date? However, if the person you’re talking to is rather chubby, I would refrain from asking this question: it could then be taken as an insult.

5. Which shows do you like?

There are plenty of shows out there. So the chances are good that your date also likes to look into the telly from time to time. Maybe you like the same programs? Then you already have something to talk about. If that’s not the case, you could still ask why they like the show they talk about.

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6. What are you famous for?

This question can be quite funny since we all have something for which we get at least some fame from friends. And often, it’s not something to be particularly proud of - so this question can lead to a funny story.

7. Do you come too early or too late?

In my eyes, this is one of the most essential questions at all (since I don’t like unpunctual people), especially when you plan to meet again, so you can adjust to each other. It’s also best to ask about the typical reasons for coming too late or too early.

8. What is your favorite drink?

This question can reveal a lot. Will they call an alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink? Something tart or sweet? You also know what you could invite them to if you want to.

9. What kind of art do you like the most?

If you’re both into art, this is a great question. If not, it can still lead to a great conversation about what you consider to be art and what not.

10. What is the best way to start the day?

Do they prefer to sleep in late, or is the person an early bird? Do they prefer coffee, tea, orange juice, or cocoa in the morning? Do they stay in bed forever, or do they seize the day from the first second? I think this question reveals more than it initially suggests.

11. Do you prefer to be in the mountains or by the sea? Why?

As long as you don’t plan a vacation together (which is unlikely on the first date), the answer is not that important. The real important question here is “why”. So you will definitely hear a story that is very important to the person you’re talking to, and you will be able to learn a little bit more about them.

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12. Which member of your family do you like the most?

It is never wrong to generate positive feelings in others. Don’t forget to ask them why they like this person so much and when they last saw them.

13. What is your idea of a perfect Saturday evening?

Does the person you speak to prefer to do a pub tour or do they like to start a film or series marathon? It is also very important here to pay attention if they are talking about a potential second person, who could one day be you.

14. How do you keep sane after a hard day?

Do they need a creative outlet, do they have to sweat or is it enough to lie down on the couch and look into the TV. Maybe they takes refuge in a book or a video game?

15. Which cartoon from your childhood would you watch again today without hesitation?

I think we all have good memories of childhood TV moments. And some shows were so good, even by the standards at that time, that they could still please even the adult child.

16. What is THE smell of your childhood?

It has long been known that the sense of smell is closely linked to memories. You can certainly remember some defining moments of your childhood including their smells; and so will your date.

17. Would you rather be outside or inside?

Everyone spends their time differently. Does the person you are talking to like it more indoors and you more outdoors? Then you will probably never go camping together. Is it the other way around? Then maybe get some hiking boots if there shall be a shared future. If you two work very differently, there are still compromises. A vacation in a mountain hut might be the answer.

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Questions to break the ice

These icebreaker questions are great for taking your conversations to the next level. This way you make sure that you talk about the important things faster without getting weird. But beware! Not everyone likes to answer these kinds of questions on the first date.

1. What is your best quirk and what is your worst?

This question forces the person you’re talking to to think about themself, their strengths and their weaknesses. Opening yourself up to the other is a great way to break the ice. Especially since your date can also speak of a strength they have here, so the conversation will not be too negative.

2. How old do you want to become?

How does your date see old age? Would it rather die young and healthy than old and possibly sick?

3. What would you rate 10 out of 10?

What is one of the best things they have ever experienced? With this question you can get great tips.

4. If money wasn’t an issue, what would you like to work?

Where are the passions of the person you’re talking to buried? What would they do if they could do what they wanted? Would they run a small cafe?

5. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

Almost the same question as the previous one, only it relates to where they would live. Would the person prefer to be in the sunny south, the cool north or would they be satisfied where they are? Maybe they also name a very magical place nearby where the best energies are.

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6. How can a person spend their time the best way?

My answer here would be with creativity. But they can have completely different ideas. Maybe they find their fulfillment in helping others or in an adrenaline rush?

7. What is the most impressive thing you can do?

Time to brag! Maybe they can even show you what they can do live? Maybe they can juggle with half full beer glasses. That would definitely be impressive!

8. What is the most annoying question people ask you regularly?

It is rarely wrong to let off a little steam as long as it does not get out of hand. Which question is really annoying for you? For example, I can no longer hear how things are going.

9. If you never had to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Would the person you’re talking to learn a new language, watch all the shows that they otherwise don’t have the time for, or work towards a goal?

10. When people ask you for help, what is it usually about?

Helping is in the nature of man and rarely does one refuse such a request. What for are they asked most often? I am mostly the chaplain or furniture mover for my friends.

11. What is YOUR meaning of life?

This question can go very wrong if the person you are talking to is currently in a phase of self-discovery or is somewhat depressed. So be careful!

12. If you were to live your perfect life, what would be the most boring day and what would be the most exciting be like?

We all dream of it: the perfect life. But has any of us ever considered this question? I doubt that the person you’re talking to has ever been asked this question, because boring days are rarely part of the idea of an ideal life.

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13. What was the most impressive physical performance you have ever achieved?

Jocks may have to think here and will probably name several achievements. If the person you’re talking to is more of a lazy type of person, you should consider skipping this question.

14. Imagine there were superpowers: which ones would you have and would you be a hero or a villain?

I think this question is great because it can reveal a lot about a person. And even if the answer is that it would like to be a villain, it may just mean that in reality they don’t dare to do the things they would like to do. Perhaps they feel inhibited in their development. Or maybe they’re just crazy? Anyway, ask why.

15. Which three items that are yours are the most valuable to you?

Mostly these are sentimental souvenirs with great stories. Often they don’t sound like anything special, but you should still listen carefully. But if they speak of material assets, you at least know what makes them work.

16. When do you feel really exhausted?

This question is a good indicator of how stressed they are. You can ask what things pull them down and what stresses them the most.

Questions about relationships

We all know that most of the time the reason to date is to find a partner. But please, do me a favor and be careful not to talk about a potential relationship between the both of you on the first date. Take your time and don’t push each other. The following questions are only there to show you whether you would be compatible in principle and have similar ideas.

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1. Would you describe yourself as a relationship person? Why yes, why no?

I guess I don’t have to say much about this questions. If they are not a relationship person, but you are - or vice versa - you can save yourself the effort and possible suffering.

2. What do you think the role of a woman or a man in a relationship should be?

Is the person you’re talking to more conservative or progressive? Do your views match?

3. Which values are most important to you?

Like the previous question, I find this one very important. Are your values congruent? Or do they not match at all?

4. How many relationships have you had?

I think this is a relatively harmless question that should always be asked in the course of the first date, since it is very meaningful. You can also ask why the person had so many or so few. But be careful not to give any judgments or even begin to sound as if you were judging them.

5. What is your type?

Every person has a type of person they like, or at least finds some qualities very attractive. Can you recognize yourself in the ones they tell you about?

6. What is an absolute no-go for you?

While many would end a relationship once they get cheated on, it is not a big deal for others. Maybe the bigger no-go of your date is when you can’t take care of yourself? Or if you’re constantly jealous?

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7. Would you rather be forever happily single or forever happily in a relationship?

The important thing here is the adjective “happy”. So if the person you’re talking to could choose, how would it rather spend eternity?

8. Would you prefer to travel forever or would you rather live in your dream house?

Do your ideas fit together? Both have their charm. This question can lead to wonderful conversations.

9. Is the first vacation together always a test of fire?

Often you really get to know your significant other, when it starts to get troubled on a vacation. Do they see it that way as well? Do me a favor and please don’t ask on your first date if you want to travel together.

10. What is the most romantic thing you have ever done?

Since I am a hopeless romantic, I always like to hear the answer to this question. This way you will also find out whether your date has a romantic side or does not value something like that.

11. Do you find it reprehensible when you meet the ex of someone you know?

Most people find that this is an absolute no-go, while for some - at least after a while - it is not a problem at all. However, this question can also be controversial, which is why it should only be asked if the person you’re talking to seems open-minded. Otherwise move it to a later date or skip it for good.

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12. What is your opinion on polyamory?

Is it possible to love multiple people and have a happy relationship with them? Some have their doubts about it, while others see it as the real deal.

13. How many in your circle of friends are in a relationship?

This question is tricky: Because it is often the case that people are only looking for their significant other, because otherwise hardly anyone in the circle of friends is single. And often there are break ups in the circle of friends almost simultaneously. So if the friends of them are all rather single and partying, it could be difficult because your date could be afraid of missing out.

14. How do you imagine your life in retirement?

This question reveals pretty much everything you want to know. Are they talking about their own children and a significant other? Happiness and health? Of a house and pets?

15. How long was your last relationship? Why did it end?

Attention! As already mentioned in the tips above, this topic is difficult. Only ask this question if you think the situation and the person you’re talking to are suitable for it. However, this question is important because a proper cut is essential to be able to start a new relationship.

Funny Questions

If the person you’re talking to doesn’t have a heart of stone, they will love these questions. With these funny questions, you will surely be able to elicit a laugh or two from them and ensure an exuberant mood.

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1. Which period in human history would have been cooler if there still had been dinosaurs?

While medieval times would have looked like a fantasy world, what would it have been like in the 20th century?

2. Which (fictional) language would you like to be able to speak? Why?

You can ask this question with or without the adjective “fictional”. But I think it spices things up a bit. Elvish, Klingon, Old Karlitian anyone?

3. Let’s say you had to sacrifice an arm or a leg, in whose place you would get transplanted a household item of your choice. Which crazy combination would you choose?

I have no idea how I came up with this question … But I like it!

4. In which profession would you be more terrible than terrible?

You can’t be good at everything, everyone knows that. But what would they be so bad that the space-time continuum would fall to pieces?

5. In which silly way have you ever hurt yourself?

I can’t say how many times I’ve hurt myself while fooling around. If the injuries of them were more serious, this question could change the mood rapidly.

6. Which of the two items could you best do without for a lifetime: knife or spoon?

I actually wanted to include the fork too, but then I think the answer would be clear. The situation is different with knives and spoons. And here I also count larger knives as well as ladles and cooking spoons!

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7. If Pokémon really existed, what would be the worst non-legendary Pokémon you could encounter?

Pokémon, ahoy! Okay, this question is very specific, but I find it funny. If the person you’re talking to or you have no idea about the Japanese pocket monsters, just skip this question. But if both of you know your fair share about them, this question can lead to insane speculations.

8. Would you be the good or the bad cop?

Interrogation situation: A scoundrel has done something wrong and the person you’re talking to enters the room. Are they nibbling on donuts and smiling friendly or are they banging the door, throwing the interrogation table against the two-way mirror and roaring like a wild animal?

9. What silly thing did you do drunk that nobody knows about?

Did they leave nasty slogans with permanent marker on a friend’s whiteboard? Or did they steal a bike just to bring it back an hour later with guilty conscience?

10. Where was the craziest place you danced?

How spontaneous and crazy is the person you’re talking to? Do they take every opportunity to be exuberant or where they talked into it? Maybe they aren’t dancing at all, who knows?

11. If you were forced to a dance competition, which song would you dance to?

Another dance question, which also asks about the person’s favorite dance song.

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12. If you founded a cult, what would it be?

I would start a cult where you have to eat pizza every day. There are no fasting days. Diets are devil’s work.

13. Do fish have necks?


14. Which sitcom character would you like to swap places with?

Would you prefer to swap places with Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle? With J.D. from Scrubs? Or with Fleabag from Fleabag?

15. If you could create the perfect video game with a snap, what would it look like and what would it be about?

Maybe an idea has been lurking in the head of the person you’re talking to for years? Even if they don’t like video games, they might have a funny answer to this question.

16. What is the most embarrassing story from your childhood?

I think we all did some really embarrassing stuff in childhood. Peed themself in the church choir? Stuck grandma’s false teeth in the dog’s mouth and got bitten? You will definitely hear a funny story here!

17. Would you like to slap someone with a cold fish?

I had to end the funny questions with a secret wish from me. Maybe someone else would find it hilarious as well? Imagine the sound, the stench: wonderful!

Good first date questions

Here are a few more questions that were difficult to classify under the other categories.

1. Would you rather save the world or destroy it and start over?

This question can be incredibly revealing because it can show you how hopeful the person you’re talking to still is. Global warming, COVID-19 and political unrest haunt us, but only on this earth are the people we love.

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2. What is the scariest non-horror movie?

This question is cool because, especially as a child, we were afraid of so many things that are actually not to be feared. But of course they can also talk about something that they find scary even in adulthood.

3. Do you think today’s children will have a worse or better life than their parents?

Of course it depends. When it comes to technology, it’s definitely better. As for the world itself, phew …

4. Which would you rather be: a dog or a cat? Why?

This question turns the question of your favorite pet upside down. Even a dog person might prefer to be a cat because you can climb up anywhere and no one is angry with you if you break things. However, as a dog you have seemingly endless energy, can eat an incredible amount of whatever you want and are always in a great mood.

5. Which names are ruined for you because you associate them with something negative?

The little girl with the exotic name in kindergarten who always spat on me … I see her face in each of her namesakes.

6. Which website does not exist, but should exist?

Although the Internet is almost limitless, it still has limits. Which websites are still missing?

7. Which video game or movie universe would you most like to live in?

Would the person you’re talking to like to live in a science fiction world, in some dystopia or would Kirby’s Dreamland be cooler?

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8. If you could have multiple tries like in a video game, how would you have to earn another try?

Would you have to smash a brick with your head and just hope for the best like in Super Mario? Or would it be something more bloodthirsty?

9. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater and dive as deep as you wanted?

Both options offer great freedom, but which variant would they prefer? Which one you?

10. What small measure could save humanity?

The question here is actually more about what they want to save humanity from than the small measure. Do you want to save humanity from environmental disasters or from their own arrogance?

11. Is spelling and grammar important to you?

Here the opinions differ widely. While it is enough for some to be understood, others cannot endure a single mistake in a text. How do you see it?

12. Which school subject did you never like, but are very interested in its content nowadays?

Of course, this question only applies if your school days are over for quite a while. I found the main subjects in particular very exciting after leaving school. Once the compulsion is gone, things quickly become more interesting.

13. Coffee or tea? Why?

A self-explanatory question, but it can reveal good stories. Although a large number like to drink coffee, there are people who categorically reject the drink and find tea much better.

Best first date Questions

And now, finally: Here are the best questions to ask on a first date. Enjoy!

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1. In what matter are you the total nerd?

I think you can be a nerd in almost anything. So where are they the total nerd? In video games? In movies? Or in dressing salad?

2. What makes you angrier than you’d like?

This question is pretty important because you want to know the things you should avoid doing. And if it’s something you can’t or don’t want to avoid, it wouldn’t work with the both of you anyway.

3. If your life were a book, what would the current chapter be called?

Reflecting on yourself is always important. And even the shortest chapter name in the world can tell you a lot about its content.

4. What is the most illegal thing you have ever done?

Time to betray secrets. Trusting someone with a secret can create an unexpected connection. And if the illegal activity is of disturbing origin, you at least now know that this was your last date with that person.

5. Are you a bad loser or an even worse winner?

I love this question because it tells you what makes a person work. I think everyone hates bad winners more than bad losers.

6. What kind of people always have the same name?

There are so many names out there, and yet the same kind of person often has the same kind of name. I’m actually against prejudice, but that’s just a weird coincidence I’ve come across several times.

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7. Which alcoholic beverage gives you the best mood / the best stories?

It’s best to ask this question casually and act in the shadows. The funniest thing is when you go on talking as normal afterwards, let some time pass and then briefly disappear - for example, you go to the bathroom for a moment. In the meantime you order the drink and the waiter / waitress comes with it unexpectedly. Please drink responsibly!

8. How do you and you from a year ago differ?

This question shows you how the person sees themself today and how it coped with all its struggles. Has it grown or failed due to any problems?

9. Would you prefer to live in another place, or are you happy here?

The keyword in this question is the adjective “happy”. Why? Dating a person who is happy with themself and wants to stay is usually better suited as a partner than someone who directs their sail towards the wind. If you are not both totally into traveling, this question could give you a first warning signal.

10. What are you most looking forward to growing old?

The answer to this question can either be funny or cute. Some look forward to their own grandchildren, others to a life without work, and some to the “great” vanilla pudding in the old people’s home.

11. Which of your habits annoy other people?

We are often not even aware of our annoying habits. And if anything between you and them shall work one day, you probably want to know about it. But look up: we all have our quirks.

12. If you could cross-breed any animal with another, what would be the most terrible / funny / sweetest / greatest being that could arise from this?

I love monsters, so I couldn’t help asking a question like that. And there are crazy scientists in all of us who secretly want to conquer the world with crazy chimeras. Or is it just me?

👉 What? You really can’t have enough of our great questions, do you? Unfortunately, this list is now over. But don’t worry: we wouldn’t be PsyCat Games if we didn’t have much more to offer. Follow this link for more Conversation Starters!

If you’re just starting to date someone new, these books can help you navigate the early stages of a relationship. From figuring out if you’re compatible to communicating effectively, they’ll give you the guidance you need to make things work:

  1. Just Send the Text: An Expert’s Guide to Letting Go of the Stress and Anxiety of Modern Dating
  2. Seven Secrets of Modern Dating: The He Said, She Said Guide for Getting from Single to Spouse
  3. First Date Mastery: The Complete First Date Psychology Guide For Men
  4. Dating Sucks, but You Don’t: The Modern Guy’s Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
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Conversation Starters

Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere!